Just like on Capitol Hill, democracy was at least seen to be done last week at the club's Annual General Meeting.
Fortuantely however, since most of the back-room deals had been worked out before hand, little actual democracy took place to slow down the proceedings. Indeed, the most protracted vote turned out to be for that of selector(s), so I'd like to as the king-makers to extend their reach a little further next year and make sure to get that one sorted too, so we can all get down to the boozer that much sooner.
All cynicism aside, I have nothing to complain about. My year of undeteced crime gets me another shot at Captain, alongside Ed Lutjens as the other officer entering his Sophomore year. Matt Winch returns for his umpteenth encore on the Executive Committe, and Dan Joyce represents the sole breath of fresh air, stepping in to Jerry McQueeny's big shoes at President. Last but not least, Jerry Alves hangs on to his selector hat, and is joined by Evan Harding, to round out a worryingly "back-centric" selection panel.
Looking to curry some instant favor, my first appointment was Scotty Derrig as Vice Captain, who mercifully accepted. All other appointments were deferred until such time that the Exec. decides what holes need to be filled, and by whom.
Thanks, as always, go to the outgoing officers. It's always with a mix of envy and regret that you bid farewell to anyone from the administration, given that an ounce of experience usually outweighs a ton of enthusiasm. But both Jerry and Al gave more than their share to the club, and can now devote their energies back to the HCR Group and turning it into a global powerhouse of whatever it is that it does.
As a parting gift, Jerry ensured that the club's "Code of Conduct" was modified and tightened up on loutish behavior, name calling and general dissent. As with all great legislation, the specific nature of most crimes was left unsepcified, and falls to the subjective eye of the Exec., so depending on who's in office, posts such as this one may, or may not, get me classified as an "enemy combatant". In short, play nice, avoid witnesses and above all, NEVER commit anything to print - because you never know when today's joke becomes tomorrow's "negative comment specifically directed toward a player or the team [which] will not be tolerated".
But don't worry, the club's hear-no-evil and see-no-evil monkeys will keep you safe. You know, all those "negative" comments you try to post? Well the monkeys get a banana for every naughty post they block, so go ahead. Monkey no like your potty mouth! (or crappy spelling for that matter).
So, what else is news?
Well, it looks like D2 has a new Kommandant this year. Vic Thomas has stepped down to accompany Springfield down to D3, and Neil Foley of Charles River moves in uncontested. Of course, it's only a matter of time before I write something seditious about NERFU or its management, and now that Neil is working for "the man", I should probably rack up a few credits early. Neil - those two e-mails you sent so far? Top notch, mate. Keep this up and Keith McNeal had better watch out.
There, that should keep me in NERFU's good graces for a while. Nothing puffs up a man's ego like a shout-out on the "World's most popular blog about Portland (Maine) Rugby Club".
Other than that, finances looked in pretty good shape, although we pretty much had to take Al's word on it. Fred made his bazillionth request to go to Ruggerfest, and Andy Nelson was appointed tour directory for our 2009 Anniversary Tour. Too bad most of those present will be 112 years old by then.
So, lastly, some guy called Mitch e-mails the club (thanks Mitch) with this picture of the Fairgrounds. Zoom in and it sure as hell looks like a rugby game going on, but I don't remember it ever being sunny at the Fairgrounds. Is one of those tiny dots you? Let me know if you ever remember seeing a sattelite overhead while you were playing, or just got that uneasy feeling that you were being watched (by someone other than the usual handful of spectators).
Merry Christmas and see you in the New Year.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
New Years Beach Contact Sport
Every now and again we are reminded just how thin this veneer of humanity is that we believe separates us from "lesser" animals. It's much documented that in times of extreme stress or terror, we humans are known to stampede with precious little concern for our fellow citizens; intent only on saving our own skins.
Well, if this sounds like a good time to you, then you're going to love the Lobster Dip; where you'll find yourself more than willing to pin an old lady or small child under water while you yourself are trying to get in and out in the water in the fastest time possible. Swept along by mass hysteria, all thoughts of chivalry go out the window as you elbow and shove your way through a seething mass of bodies. It's drown or be drowned, and your survival instincts really kick in. But don't worry, because it's all for charity, so that makes it all OK.
That's right. It's time for you to give back, after a year of taking, by drumming up a few sponsors and throwing yourself into the freezing Atlantic on New Years Day. Otherwise known as the Lobster Dip, this event has become a long standing tradition for the club, with all proceeds going to benefit the Maine Special Olympics.
This years event will again be held in front of the Brunswick-Oceanside Grill in Old Orchard, with the dip taking place at high noon. Parking is a byotch, so get there plenty early, and brink plenty of warm clothes to change into. Afterwards, friends and family can congregate in the Brunswick, which puts on a little buffet for the dippers, and opens up its bar so you can get right back on the sauce again.
Volunteers to help organize dippers are also needed, so those of you with a weaker constitution can still do your part, and still raise some money.
If you're looking for more specifics on the event you can probably get forms etc. from Jerry McQueeney at the AGM tomorrow, or feel free to drop him a line.
Well, if this sounds like a good time to you, then you're going to love the Lobster Dip; where you'll find yourself more than willing to pin an old lady or small child under water while you yourself are trying to get in and out in the water in the fastest time possible. Swept along by mass hysteria, all thoughts of chivalry go out the window as you elbow and shove your way through a seething mass of bodies. It's drown or be drowned, and your survival instincts really kick in. But don't worry, because it's all for charity, so that makes it all OK.
That's right. It's time for you to give back, after a year of taking, by drumming up a few sponsors and throwing yourself into the freezing Atlantic on New Years Day. Otherwise known as the Lobster Dip, this event has become a long standing tradition for the club, with all proceeds going to benefit the Maine Special Olympics.
This years event will again be held in front of the Brunswick-Oceanside Grill in Old Orchard, with the dip taking place at high noon. Parking is a byotch, so get there plenty early, and brink plenty of warm clothes to change into. Afterwards, friends and family can congregate in the Brunswick, which puts on a little buffet for the dippers, and opens up its bar so you can get right back on the sauce again.
Volunteers to help organize dippers are also needed, so those of you with a weaker constitution can still do your part, and still raise some money.
If you're looking for more specifics on the event you can probably get forms etc. from Jerry McQueeney at the AGM tomorrow, or feel free to drop him a line.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
No more Lame Duck Soup, It's the AGM
Are you chomping at the bit already to get on with next year's season? Is a clipboard at the top of your Christmas list?
Well, fret no more, chompy, the time has come for all aspiring officers to step forth and declare their candidacy, and for the rest of us to sit back and evaluate their credentials in a thoughtful and responsible manner.
Yes, it's the Annual General Meeting, where, with the appropriate amount of back-room dealing, you too can find yourself somewhere at the helm of the most powerful rugby organization in all of...well, Portland. Heady stuff, I know.
Of course, if you're questioning why someone might like it "in the back-room", then perhaps you're not cut out for the pride-swallowing seige that constitutes tending to the PRFC flock. Aspiring Senatorial Pages need only apply.
So, to exercise your prerogative, get yourself along to the City Deli food court (in One City Center) at 6 o'clock next Wednesday, the 13th. Don't worry, there will be no food on hand to distract you from your democratic duties, but if you all play nice, we could find ourselves in Gritty's before midnight for some libation. W00t!
Well, fret no more, chompy, the time has come for all aspiring officers to step forth and declare their candidacy, and for the rest of us to sit back and evaluate their credentials in a thoughtful and responsible manner.
Yes, it's the Annual General Meeting, where, with the appropriate amount of back-room dealing, you too can find yourself somewhere at the helm of the most powerful rugby organization in all of...well, Portland. Heady stuff, I know.
Of course, if you're questioning why someone might like it "in the back-room", then perhaps you're not cut out for the pride-swallowing seige that constitutes tending to the PRFC flock. Aspiring Senatorial Pages need only apply.
So, to exercise your prerogative, get yourself along to the City Deli food court (in One City Center) at 6 o'clock next Wednesday, the 13th. Don't worry, there will be no food on hand to distract you from your democratic duties, but if you all play nice, we could find ourselves in Gritty's before midnight for some libation. W00t!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Banquet 1, Dignity 0
Seems like everyone I've spoken to or heard about since the banquet has their own personal story of shame that they've been wallowing in, myself included, so hence the low profile since it all went off. It is beholden on me however to try and make some sense of it all, and to let you know that however off-your-face you got, and however ashamed you are feeling, there's always someone else feeling worse than you. So, shake it off soldier, and get back in the fight.
As far as banquets go, this was a top notch affair, with J-Wil pulling out all the stops to make us feel welcome, and not getting too mad when people started to get messy. Everyone turned out in all of their finery, and most people behaved in a civilized fashion for the majority of the night. As I alluded to earlier, it got a bit sloppy towards the end, but I won't name any names for fear of creating a firestorm of accusations.
Speeches were given, and I won't bore you with the details, but more thanks were given than a night at the Oscars, and if you missed your particular "ups" then you'll have ask someone who was paying attention. Then came the big awards for the night:
Most Improved Player: who else but Ryan Facey, who stuck with us and earned himself a starting spot in one of the most competitive positions on the club in just his second year. Ryan was later to be seen yelling his gratitude out of the window of the courtesy bus on the way to the Old Port. Well...at least it looked like he was yelling.
Most Valuable Player: Scotty Derrig scooped up this coveted prize, having played all over the backline this season without complaint, and making a positive impact from wherever it was. Scotty also seems to have developed a bit of a Teflon coating, as I'm having a hard time thinking up any dirt on him, other than his suspiciously well rehearsed acceptance speech.
Honorable Mention: Apparantly nipping at Scotty's heels in the MVP elections were a couple of old war horses who also got a mention, and who fall at the other end of the dirt spectrum. Jerry Alves (for the backs) and Jeff Keating (for the forwards) both were recognized for their consistently strong play all year, and for carrying more injuries between them than the entire DL for the American League.
Biggest Contribution: Your humble scribe was honored here, presumably not for the 11-13 record but for continuing to put blogging before work, family, personal hygiene or anything else. Of course, to celebrate I promptly took a week off to recapture my muse. If you find it, please let me know.
There then followed the Jimmy & Andy show, who unleashed a multimedia extravaganza on us, as they singled out members of the club for a little recognition/humiliation. The awards were too funny and too numerous for me to keep track of them all, so again, I won't list them all for fear of hurting someone's feelings. Jacko also threw in a couple of his own awards at the end, and then the evening dissolved into more drinking and general misbehavior.
For most of us Sunday was a write off, and sadly the most vivid memories of the night are those of our own transgressions. Oh alcohol, curse you and your inhibition-lowering goodness.
For those of you who clearly have a taste for this particular brand of train-wreck, can do it all over again at the Women's club banquet, held on December 18th, to which you are all cordially invited. Get youself off to Binga's tomorrow night (the 29th) should you wish to secure a ticket early, as there will be some kind of ticket-sale-drink-up going on. Alternatively, I'm sure you can pay at the door (of the Portland Eagles Club, where it's being held).
P.S. If any of you have any decent pictures from the banquet, e-mail me, since I couldn't manage a decent photo all night....unless of course you count those upskirt ones.
As far as banquets go, this was a top notch affair, with J-Wil pulling out all the stops to make us feel welcome, and not getting too mad when people started to get messy. Everyone turned out in all of their finery, and most people behaved in a civilized fashion for the majority of the night. As I alluded to earlier, it got a bit sloppy towards the end, but I won't name any names for fear of creating a firestorm of accusations.
Speeches were given, and I won't bore you with the details, but more thanks were given than a night at the Oscars, and if you missed your particular "ups" then you'll have ask someone who was paying attention. Then came the big awards for the night:
Most Improved Player: who else but Ryan Facey, who stuck with us and earned himself a starting spot in one of the most competitive positions on the club in just his second year. Ryan was later to be seen yelling his gratitude out of the window of the courtesy bus on the way to the Old Port. Well...at least it looked like he was yelling.
Most Valuable Player: Scotty Derrig scooped up this coveted prize, having played all over the backline this season without complaint, and making a positive impact from wherever it was. Scotty also seems to have developed a bit of a Teflon coating, as I'm having a hard time thinking up any dirt on him, other than his suspiciously well rehearsed acceptance speech.
Honorable Mention: Apparantly nipping at Scotty's heels in the MVP elections were a couple of old war horses who also got a mention, and who fall at the other end of the dirt spectrum. Jerry Alves (for the backs) and Jeff Keating (for the forwards) both were recognized for their consistently strong play all year, and for carrying more injuries between them than the entire DL for the American League.
Biggest Contribution: Your humble scribe was honored here, presumably not for the 11-13 record but for continuing to put blogging before work, family, personal hygiene or anything else. Of course, to celebrate I promptly took a week off to recapture my muse. If you find it, please let me know.
There then followed the Jimmy & Andy show, who unleashed a multimedia extravaganza on us, as they singled out members of the club for a little recognition/humiliation. The awards were too funny and too numerous for me to keep track of them all, so again, I won't list them all for fear of hurting someone's feelings. Jacko also threw in a couple of his own awards at the end, and then the evening dissolved into more drinking and general misbehavior.
For most of us Sunday was a write off, and sadly the most vivid memories of the night are those of our own transgressions. Oh alcohol, curse you and your inhibition-lowering goodness.
For those of you who clearly have a taste for this particular brand of train-wreck, can do it all over again at the Women's club banquet, held on December 18th, to which you are all cordially invited. Get youself off to Binga's tomorrow night (the 29th) should you wish to secure a ticket early, as there will be some kind of ticket-sale-drink-up going on. Alternatively, I'm sure you can pay at the door (of the Portland Eagles Club, where it's being held).
P.S. If any of you have any decent pictures from the banquet, e-mail me, since I couldn't manage a decent photo all night....unless of course you count those upskirt ones.
Friday, November 17, 2006
It's the M-F'ing Banquet!
Woooweeee! It's the banquet tomorrow, and I'm so freakin' excited. I hope I don't puke.
If you're still on the fence, fuggedaboutit. Clip on your tie, scrounge up twenty-five bucks for you and your ho, and get yourself down to the Sheraton for a rip-roaring good time.
The mayhem begins at 5 and then goes well past your bedtime. I gots a room, so you can crash with me - hell, it'll be just like Syracuse ('cos you won't pay me - w00t!).
Did I mention I love the banquet?
If you're still on the fence, fuggedaboutit. Clip on your tie, scrounge up twenty-five bucks for you and your ho, and get yourself down to the Sheraton for a rip-roaring good time.
The mayhem begins at 5 and then goes well past your bedtime. I gots a room, so you can crash with me - hell, it'll be just like Syracuse ('cos you won't pay me - w00t!).
Did I mention I love the banquet?
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Retail Expansion
So, remember that "cool new feature" I mentioned in the last post? Well now's your chance to see what passes as "cool" to a geek like me.
Having spent most of the season bleeding money while trying to get you lot suitably attired, I figured it was time to take a load off (Sally) and let someone else share in the pleasure of doing business with you. That's why I'mrelieved pleased to unveil the new online Portland Rugby Shop. It's your own little shopping mall where you can buy all kinds of shiny things that have something to do with the club or with the sport of rugby in general.
True, we're not the first club to ever come up with such a thing, but I like to think that like most other things we touch, we've done it bigger and better than anyone else. Just click on the button below and see for yourself.
Technically speaking it is still a Beta test, since I didn't really discuss what people might like to buy with anyone other than the voices in my head. As a result I just came up with some designs and slapped them on products in a mostly arbitrary way. So, if there's some combination of design and product that you don't see, just let me know and I can probably accommodate it.
I should also point out that as you exercise your credit card for a little retail-therapy, you are also giving back to the club. The slimmest of margins has been built in to each product, so that over several thousand years we may accumulate enough to buy that dream field we've always had our eyes on, but will most likely be used to post your bail instead. So tell your friends, tell your families...hell, even tell other clubs. Every little helps. While there's plenty of stuff on there to satisfy your burning, obsessive love for the Portland Rugby Club, there's also some less "Portlandy" stuff on there that might have a broader appeal. However, each and every design carries a subtle reminder of its origin, which hopefully drives even more traffic back to the site, and round it all goes again.
Other than that, come on in, take a look around, and remember if you break it, you buy it.
Having spent most of the season bleeding money while trying to get you lot suitably attired, I figured it was time to take a load off (Sally) and let someone else share in the pleasure of doing business with you. That's why I'm
True, we're not the first club to ever come up with such a thing, but I like to think that like most other things we touch, we've done it bigger and better than anyone else. Just click on the button below and see for yourself.
Technically speaking it is still a Beta test, since I didn't really discuss what people might like to buy with anyone other than the voices in my head. As a result I just came up with some designs and slapped them on products in a mostly arbitrary way. So, if there's some combination of design and product that you don't see, just let me know and I can probably accommodate it.
I should also point out that as you exercise your credit card for a little retail-therapy, you are also giving back to the club. The slimmest of margins has been built in to each product, so that over several thousand years we may accumulate enough to buy that dream field we've always had our eyes on, but will most likely be used to post your bail instead. So tell your friends, tell your families...hell, even tell other clubs. Every little helps. While there's plenty of stuff on there to satisfy your burning, obsessive love for the Portland Rugby Club, there's also some less "Portlandy" stuff on there that might have a broader appeal. However, each and every design carries a subtle reminder of its origin, which hopefully drives even more traffic back to the site, and round it all goes again.
Other than that, come on in, take a look around, and remember if you break it, you buy it.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Rugby Snuff Movie
I'm publishing this video with the kind permission of the er...victim, who as we all know lived to play another day and has gone on to live a happy and fulfilling life. Well, a happy one at least. It is a salutary lesson that rugby is still very much a contact sport, and bad things do happen to good people.
Unfortunately the quality of this clip is a little sketchy, but so long as you can hear the audio portion you should be all set. But be warned, what you are about to see (or hear) is not for the faint of heart. Small children, those taking heart medication or people of a weak disposition should move on to something a little more gentle. I've watched it a hundred times and it still turns my stomach.
Still willing to watch? OK, then let me set the scene for you.
The year is 2001. It's the very first weekend after 9/11 and sporting events across the country have been cancelled out of respect. Indeed, some say that this game should never have been played, but probably because nobody fancied a make-up game in the middle of November the whole league played on. After a minute silence, Portland kicked off a spirited encounter with Providence at their old ground in the East Providence hood.
The first half is drawing to a close, and after winning a lineout Portland elects to spin the ball along their backline in an attempt to break out of their 22. The ball reaches the outside center, Jason Willey, who sees nothing outside him and elects to cut back inside. Then the sound speaks for itself. Just listen...
Something like the sound of a small tree being snapped in two, and then the screaming begins. Fortunately the tape cuts off there. The reality of what had happened is that Jason had shattered his ankle completely, and only socks and skin were holding his foot on.
Cut to Portland in the huddle, no doubt seeking words of encouragement for each other after witnessing this gruesome injury. The huddle breaks up, and the players disperse, their head held low. But wait...what's this? They seem to be spreading back out across the pitch. They're actually going to play the second half. For the love of God, what has to happen for a match to be abandonned? As the players take their position they make room for the ambulance to get off the field before Dom tees up the ball to get things started again, like lambs to the slaughter.
The moral of the story? I'm not sure that there is one, but I'll leave it up to your fevered imaginations to comment a few below.
Also, since this post is sure to get some decent play, I'm going to use this opportunity to put in a shameless plug for you to check back to the site on Thursday for a new feature we'll be adding to the site. All should be revealed sometime before lunch.
Unfortunately the quality of this clip is a little sketchy, but so long as you can hear the audio portion you should be all set. But be warned, what you are about to see (or hear) is not for the faint of heart. Small children, those taking heart medication or people of a weak disposition should move on to something a little more gentle. I've watched it a hundred times and it still turns my stomach.
Still willing to watch? OK, then let me set the scene for you.
The year is 2001. It's the very first weekend after 9/11 and sporting events across the country have been cancelled out of respect. Indeed, some say that this game should never have been played, but probably because nobody fancied a make-up game in the middle of November the whole league played on. After a minute silence, Portland kicked off a spirited encounter with Providence at their old ground in the East Providence hood.
The first half is drawing to a close, and after winning a lineout Portland elects to spin the ball along their backline in an attempt to break out of their 22. The ball reaches the outside center, Jason Willey, who sees nothing outside him and elects to cut back inside. Then the sound speaks for itself. Just listen...
Something like the sound of a small tree being snapped in two, and then the screaming begins. Fortunately the tape cuts off there. The reality of what had happened is that Jason had shattered his ankle completely, and only socks and skin were holding his foot on.
Cut to Portland in the huddle, no doubt seeking words of encouragement for each other after witnessing this gruesome injury. The huddle breaks up, and the players disperse, their head held low. But wait...what's this? They seem to be spreading back out across the pitch. They're actually going to play the second half. For the love of God, what has to happen for a match to be abandonned? As the players take their position they make room for the ambulance to get off the field before Dom tees up the ball to get things started again, like lambs to the slaughter.
The moral of the story? I'm not sure that there is one, but I'll leave it up to your fevered imaginations to comment a few below.
Also, since this post is sure to get some decent play, I'm going to use this opportunity to put in a shameless plug for you to check back to the site on Thursday for a new feature we'll be adding to the site. All should be revealed sometime before lunch.
Monday, November 13, 2006
Did you vote yet?
Just a reminder that the banquet is coming up this Saturday, so I expect to see you all their in your finery.
Part of the reason for having the banquet is to recognize those who made an outstanding contribution to the club both on and off the field. Since it's always difficult to be certain that we've e-mailed everyone in the club, this is just another gentle reminder to get your votes in to Jerry McQueeney as soon as possible.
In case you didn't know, the categories up for grabs are:
Most Valuable Player
Most Improved Player
Biggest Contribution to the Club
Hit Jerry up here with your votes as soon as possible so he has time to put your name on the huge trophy.
Thank-you.
Part of the reason for having the banquet is to recognize those who made an outstanding contribution to the club both on and off the field. Since it's always difficult to be certain that we've e-mailed everyone in the club, this is just another gentle reminder to get your votes in to Jerry McQueeney as soon as possible.
In case you didn't know, the categories up for grabs are:
Most Valuable Player
Most Improved Player
Biggest Contribution to the Club
Hit Jerry up here with your votes as soon as possible so he has time to put your name on the huge trophy.
Thank-you.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Coat Check Payola
While the rest of the club was draining the funds last weekend, a select few were hard at work earning us some cash at the Brewfest coat check. I won't go in to specific amounts lest you think that the club is all of a sudden flush with cash and that you need to find something to spend it on, but lets just say it was a tidy little sum that we desparately needed.
Since nothing says "thank-you" like a mention on the website, next time you see any of the following folks, be sure to point out to them that you saw their name on the site, and that you're grateful for their efforts. Or you could just comment that below. Give it up for:
Matt Winch
Freddy Hayman
Marcos Miller
Joe Loring
Rick Scala
Art Gaffer
Zach (from the Deli)
John Gartland
Matt Burgess
Tony Cox
Nice going lads!
Since nothing says "thank-you" like a mention on the website, next time you see any of the following folks, be sure to point out to them that you saw their name on the site, and that you're grateful for their efforts. Or you could just comment that below. Give it up for:
Matt Winch
Freddy Hayman
Marcos Miller
Joe Loring
Rick Scala
Art Gaffer
Zach (from the Deli)
John Gartland
Matt Burgess
Tony Cox
Nice going lads!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
How we be rollin' at the banquet
It's that time of year again.
Time to get dressed up, have a few drinks, and get all sentimental about each other.
So, kind of like a regular Saturday then, but in nicer clothes.
It all goes off at the Sheraton on the 18th, with a fine spread courtesy of J-Wil, who runs the show over there. Good food, cheap booze - he plans to show you what it means to "Belong" at the Sheraton.
The assigned hours are 5 - 10 pm, with a program that goes something like this:
5 to 6:30 - Happy Hour
6:30 to 8 - Dinner
8 to 9 - Awards, Speeches and Hilarity
9 to 10 - Wind Down
Or for those of you more familiar with the banquet:
5 to 6 - Happy Hour
6 to 7 - Happier Hour
7 to 7:30 - Happiest Half-Hour
7:30 to 8 - Over Stimulated Half-Hour
8 - Hit The Wall
8:05 to 9 - Surly & Beligerent Hour
9 to 10 - Remorseful & Crying Hour
10 on - Begging For Forgiveness
As you can imagine, such a good time doesn't come for free, but thanks to our connections we're able to pull the whole thing off for just $25 per head. "Sweet!" you say, "I'll pay you on the night". Sure, just like you paid for the bus. Well, since the club can't support your sorry ass forever, you should take this opportunity to pay up early to avoid being tipped upside down and shaken in front of your girlfriend.
Time to get yourself paid.
For those particularly high rollers amongst you, our good pal Jay has also been able to set up a special room rate for the night so that you can crash out there, rather than into a telegraph pole on the way home. Click here to be whisked to the special page for PRFC and get booking. Act quickly though - rooms are filling up fast.
So there you have it. More fun than ought to be legal for just $25. Get your skates on to secure your spot.
Time to get dressed up, have a few drinks, and get all sentimental about each other.
So, kind of like a regular Saturday then, but in nicer clothes.
It all goes off at the Sheraton on the 18th, with a fine spread courtesy of J-Wil, who runs the show over there. Good food, cheap booze - he plans to show you what it means to "Belong" at the Sheraton.
The assigned hours are 5 - 10 pm, with a program that goes something like this:
5 to 6:30 - Happy Hour
6:30 to 8 - Dinner
8 to 9 - Awards, Speeches and Hilarity
9 to 10 - Wind Down
Or for those of you more familiar with the banquet:
5 to 6 - Happy Hour
6 to 7 - Happier Hour
7 to 7:30 - Happiest Half-Hour
7:30 to 8 - Over Stimulated Half-Hour
8 - Hit The Wall
8:05 to 9 - Surly & Beligerent Hour
9 to 10 - Remorseful & Crying Hour
10 on - Begging For Forgiveness
As you can imagine, such a good time doesn't come for free, but thanks to our connections we're able to pull the whole thing off for just $25 per head. "Sweet!" you say, "I'll pay you on the night". Sure, just like you paid for the bus. Well, since the club can't support your sorry ass forever, you should take this opportunity to pay up early to avoid being tipped upside down and shaken in front of your girlfriend.
Time to get yourself paid.
For those particularly high rollers amongst you, our good pal Jay has also been able to set up a special room rate for the night so that you can crash out there, rather than into a telegraph pole on the way home. Click here to be whisked to the special page for PRFC and get booking. Act quickly though - rooms are filling up fast.
So there you have it. More fun than ought to be legal for just $25. Get your skates on to secure your spot.
Nearly Men not so nearly this time
The Red Tide wrapped up its Fall league season this past weekend with the longest of road trips to Hartford. Normally you couldn't imagine a greater a greater strain on the club than a 4-hour road trip in November at the end of a losing campaign. But not so this year, with 25 guys boarding the bus in Portland with several others traveling directly. Whatever the outcome, by this measure alone I do declare the state of our union to be in robust health.
Four hours on the bus gave us plenty of time to cover all of the pressing issues of the day, including TABOR, Evangelical hypocrisy, and whether we were better off taking sides with the Aliens or the Predators. With such weighty issues to occupy our minds the trip flew by and we soon found ourselves pulling up at the very pleasant Irish Cultural Center in Glastonbury.
Despite the long ride, Portland uncharacteristically came out of the gates at a blistering pace, no doubt proving to be a bit more of a handful than Hartford was expecting. WTF Hartford, don't you read the match reports? Just because we were 1-6, it didn't mean we were going to be a pushover.
Sure enough Portland took an early lead, after piling on the pressure and stringing together some good passes to send Dan Joyce over for the first score. Andy Nelson made the tough conversion, and Portland opened a 7-point lead.
The visitors were soon at it again, this time seeing Scotty Derrig hauled down by his collar just feet short of the line and earning us a penalty try. The conversion was a formality, and before you knew what was going on Portland had a 14-0 lead. Unfamiliar territory for a side that has more often than not been giving up early points rather than scoring them.
Hartford were clearly stung to life by this early onslaught, and soon registered their first points thanks to some confusion on a goal line clearance. They soon followed up with another score, and Portland were able to cling on to a slender lead thanks only to a missed conversion from Hartford.
Portland showed some character and struck back themselves, with Jerry Alves intercepting a midfield pass and running it back for a try under the posts. With that the scoreline stood at 21-12 in Portland's favor, although it wasn't to remain that way for long as Hartford scored again on the stroke of full time, and again only that missed conversion separated the two sides.
After the break both sides traded penalties to maintain the points gap, and then tempers that had been on a low simmer all day finally boiled over and a big fight broke out. I wont incriminate anyone by speculating as to whofrom Hartford started it, but everyone felt the need to join in, and several sub-fights broke out across the field. Clearly the ref had no idea who started it, and even after consulting with his mentor on the sidelines, he decided that both sides were equally to blame and handed out a yellow card to the Hartford Captain (oh, the shame) and Mike DeSalle. Both had five minutes to stand under the goalposts and cool off.
Whatever the body count, Portland seemed a little shell shocked after the brawl, while the Hartford side became emboldened and began running the ball hard both in the forwards and along their backline. Injuries and inexperience began to take their toll as Portland's defense fell away, ultimately yielding 22 unanswered points in the final third of the match. A disappointing end to a game that had started with such promise.
Once again it was left to the B-side to lift our spirits, who fought their way out of a two-try hole in the first half to come back and win by a score. After seemingly being out of it at half time, the Killer B's dug deep and continued to hold on to the ball well; keeping faith in their good handling and support play. The crowning moment came with just seconds to spare when Josh fed the ball to Tractor, who broke a couple of tackles before being held up and dishing to Frenchy for the final score.
Post match honors went to Evan Harding in the A Game, for being the catalyst for our first half offense, and to Murph for his B Side performance that included his first Portland try.
After driving round in circles for an hour to find Spyder a liquor store we finally hit the road for the long trek home. Thanks to Jeff Keating as always for the musical accompaniment, which always helps the trip slip by. Thanks also to the Predators for coming back to Earth to eliminate the Alien scourge, even if only for about 175 years until that run in with the Nostromo.
But I digress.
So that closes the book on another season, and another year for Portland Rugby Club. Some recent disappointments but also plenty of highs to look back on from earlier in the year. It's been a fun time, but to paraphrase Mark Twain, the longest decade of my life was the year I spent as Portland captain. It's been an honor, and I miss you all already.
Stay tuned here for news about the banquet, other club goings-on, and of course, whatever else pops into my head.
Cheers.
Four hours on the bus gave us plenty of time to cover all of the pressing issues of the day, including TABOR, Evangelical hypocrisy, and whether we were better off taking sides with the Aliens or the Predators. With such weighty issues to occupy our minds the trip flew by and we soon found ourselves pulling up at the very pleasant Irish Cultural Center in Glastonbury.
Despite the long ride, Portland uncharacteristically came out of the gates at a blistering pace, no doubt proving to be a bit more of a handful than Hartford was expecting. WTF Hartford, don't you read the match reports? Just because we were 1-6, it didn't mean we were going to be a pushover.
Sure enough Portland took an early lead, after piling on the pressure and stringing together some good passes to send Dan Joyce over for the first score. Andy Nelson made the tough conversion, and Portland opened a 7-point lead.
The visitors were soon at it again, this time seeing Scotty Derrig hauled down by his collar just feet short of the line and earning us a penalty try. The conversion was a formality, and before you knew what was going on Portland had a 14-0 lead. Unfamiliar territory for a side that has more often than not been giving up early points rather than scoring them.
Hartford were clearly stung to life by this early onslaught, and soon registered their first points thanks to some confusion on a goal line clearance. They soon followed up with another score, and Portland were able to cling on to a slender lead thanks only to a missed conversion from Hartford.
Portland showed some character and struck back themselves, with Jerry Alves intercepting a midfield pass and running it back for a try under the posts. With that the scoreline stood at 21-12 in Portland's favor, although it wasn't to remain that way for long as Hartford scored again on the stroke of full time, and again only that missed conversion separated the two sides.
After the break both sides traded penalties to maintain the points gap, and then tempers that had been on a low simmer all day finally boiled over and a big fight broke out. I wont incriminate anyone by speculating as to who
Whatever the body count, Portland seemed a little shell shocked after the brawl, while the Hartford side became emboldened and began running the ball hard both in the forwards and along their backline. Injuries and inexperience began to take their toll as Portland's defense fell away, ultimately yielding 22 unanswered points in the final third of the match. A disappointing end to a game that had started with such promise.
Once again it was left to the B-side to lift our spirits, who fought their way out of a two-try hole in the first half to come back and win by a score. After seemingly being out of it at half time, the Killer B's dug deep and continued to hold on to the ball well; keeping faith in their good handling and support play. The crowning moment came with just seconds to spare when Josh fed the ball to Tractor, who broke a couple of tackles before being held up and dishing to Frenchy for the final score.
Post match honors went to Evan Harding in the A Game, for being the catalyst for our first half offense, and to Murph for his B Side performance that included his first Portland try.
After driving round in circles for an hour to find Spyder a liquor store we finally hit the road for the long trek home. Thanks to Jeff Keating as always for the musical accompaniment, which always helps the trip slip by. Thanks also to the Predators for coming back to Earth to eliminate the Alien scourge, even if only for about 175 years until that run in with the Nostromo.
But I digress.
So that closes the book on another season, and another year for Portland Rugby Club. Some recent disappointments but also plenty of highs to look back on from earlier in the year. It's been a fun time, but to paraphrase Mark Twain, the longest decade of my life was the year I spent as Portland captain. It's been an honor, and I miss you all already.
Stay tuned here for news about the banquet, other club goings-on, and of course, whatever else pops into my head.
Cheers.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Another side receives mandatory Portland scare
The woulda, coulda, shouldas were being rolled out again this past Saturday night as league leaders Burlington escaped with a 15-11 win, and Portland collected another solitary "near miss" bonus point to add to its tally.
Given the late Fall monsoon that was blowing by, the games had been moved to the Fairgrounds; scene of plenty of past Portland heroics. The Pulling Shed once again served as changing room / warm up facility, but I use the term "warm up" in only a figurative sense.
The first half was dominated by Burlington, as they scored three tries due to some lackluster defense and some strong running by the visiting forwards. Portland managed to stay in touch however, thanks to a couple of penalty kicks from Matt Winch and three missed conversions by Burlington. 15-6 the score at half time.
A number of substitutions were made at half time that brought some added strength to the Portland pack, along with a little more beef (and pork) in the midfield. With these in place, Portland was able to guarantee a more reliable supply of ball from the scrum, although lineouts remained a crapshoot in the howling gale.
Portland soon began to pressure the Burlington line, although for a while the slippery conditions meant that a knock-on was more likely to occur before any breakthrough. Eventually however a stable platform was established from a scrum under the Burlington posts, and the ball was worked weak to find itself in the hands of Scotty Derrig, who slipped through to score. The conversion attempt was, not surprisingly, held up in the wind, so the scoreline crept only to 15-11.
Sensing some hesitation from Burlington, the home side continued to pile on the pressure, although again, given the conditions, moving the ball about with any fluency proved impossible. To their credit, despite many goal line mauls that Portland tried to push in, Burlington held them all up and turned them away. In the end, with a limited number of attacking options this saga of immeasurable force meeting immovable object ground to a stalemate and time ran out before either side was able to come up with any other ideas.
Another weekend, and another day pushing that rock up hill. Sisyphus would have been proud.
Once again however, the ray of metaphorical sunshine came from the Killer B's, who took the field with such excitement that you'd have no idea they'd been standing in the rain getting soaked for the preceding 80 minutes.
Burlington however did not display the same enthusiasm, and started the game with only 9-10 players, as the rest had all disappeared indoors to get dry. Gradually their consciences got the better of them, and they filtered back on to the field, only to encounter the fired up B's.
Despite the fact that the game was shortened to what seemed like 10-minute halves, Josh managed a brace of tries and Ryan scored another, while Burlington seemed more interested in when it was all going to be over. Another strong performance from the B's, which only bodes well for the future of the club.
Once everyone had dried off as best they could, it was back to Bleachers to share a pint with our opponents. Oh, wait...that's right, Burlington split before anyone could say goodbye, no doubt still mad about that biting incident from a hundred years ago.
So, for once, there was enough food to go around, and plenty of room to mingle. A side man-of-the-match went to Mike DeSalle, who came on at the half and proved that the game still needs him. B side honors and special mention went to Josh for his strong performance in both games, but he was out in the car, ahem..."medicating" at the time, so his shot went elsewhere.
Portland take the long trip to Hartford this weekend for their final game of the year. A bus has been laid on, so all fans and friends are welcome to tag along. Watch this space for more details.
Given the late Fall monsoon that was blowing by, the games had been moved to the Fairgrounds; scene of plenty of past Portland heroics. The Pulling Shed once again served as changing room / warm up facility, but I use the term "warm up" in only a figurative sense.
The first half was dominated by Burlington, as they scored three tries due to some lackluster defense and some strong running by the visiting forwards. Portland managed to stay in touch however, thanks to a couple of penalty kicks from Matt Winch and three missed conversions by Burlington. 15-6 the score at half time.
A number of substitutions were made at half time that brought some added strength to the Portland pack, along with a little more beef (and pork) in the midfield. With these in place, Portland was able to guarantee a more reliable supply of ball from the scrum, although lineouts remained a crapshoot in the howling gale.
Portland soon began to pressure the Burlington line, although for a while the slippery conditions meant that a knock-on was more likely to occur before any breakthrough. Eventually however a stable platform was established from a scrum under the Burlington posts, and the ball was worked weak to find itself in the hands of Scotty Derrig, who slipped through to score. The conversion attempt was, not surprisingly, held up in the wind, so the scoreline crept only to 15-11.
Sensing some hesitation from Burlington, the home side continued to pile on the pressure, although again, given the conditions, moving the ball about with any fluency proved impossible. To their credit, despite many goal line mauls that Portland tried to push in, Burlington held them all up and turned them away. In the end, with a limited number of attacking options this saga of immeasurable force meeting immovable object ground to a stalemate and time ran out before either side was able to come up with any other ideas.
Another weekend, and another day pushing that rock up hill. Sisyphus would have been proud.
Once again however, the ray of metaphorical sunshine came from the Killer B's, who took the field with such excitement that you'd have no idea they'd been standing in the rain getting soaked for the preceding 80 minutes.
Burlington however did not display the same enthusiasm, and started the game with only 9-10 players, as the rest had all disappeared indoors to get dry. Gradually their consciences got the better of them, and they filtered back on to the field, only to encounter the fired up B's.
Despite the fact that the game was shortened to what seemed like 10-minute halves, Josh managed a brace of tries and Ryan scored another, while Burlington seemed more interested in when it was all going to be over. Another strong performance from the B's, which only bodes well for the future of the club.
Once everyone had dried off as best they could, it was back to Bleachers to share a pint with our opponents. Oh, wait...that's right, Burlington split before anyone could say goodbye, no doubt still mad about that biting incident from a hundred years ago.
So, for once, there was enough food to go around, and plenty of room to mingle. A side man-of-the-match went to Mike DeSalle, who came on at the half and proved that the game still needs him. B side honors and special mention went to Josh for his strong performance in both games, but he was out in the car, ahem..."medicating" at the time, so his shot went elsewhere.
Portland take the long trip to Hartford this weekend for their final game of the year. A bus has been laid on, so all fans and friends are welcome to tag along. Watch this space for more details.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Normal Service to resume ASAP
Phew! Been sooooo busy at the office, as you can see. There's just been no time for a match report.
Strike!
Also, a slight misunderstanding with the censors has kept me under house arrest for a few days, but that all seems to have been cleared up now. Thank goodness - almost a whole week without spouting off and I was beginning to go into limelight withdrawls.
So let freedom ring! Yes, I will blog you your blog sir, one more time. Just don't mention the you-know-what in the comments. K?
Strike!
Also, a slight misunderstanding with the censors has kept me under house arrest for a few days, but that all seems to have been cleared up now. Thank goodness - almost a whole week without spouting off and I was beginning to go into limelight withdrawls.
So let freedom ring! Yes, I will blog you your blog sir, one more time. Just don't mention the you-know-what in the comments. K?
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Vintage Portland
From the Portland news archives comes this scratchy piece of footage of some unknown players running in a try, appropriately enough against Burlington. Circa 2001 and filmed in classic Amateurovision, you can just make out a mugging going on before the assailants take flight and disappear into the distance. I understand that no charges were ever pressed.
An underwhelming reward is available to anyone who can name the four perps, or the two other witnesses who are still alive and might actually still be found on a rugby pitch today (i.e. active player). Please use the anonymous tip line below.
Apologies to Bono for the 18 seconds of screaming that we borrowed without paying for. We...erm...sent the royalty check to some starving kids in Africa, but then Madonna adopted them and we lost track of it after that. Sorryboutcha.
An underwhelming reward is available to anyone who can name the four perps, or the two other witnesses who are still alive and might actually still be found on a rugby pitch today (i.e. active player). Please use the anonymous tip line below.
Apologies to Bono for the 18 seconds of screaming that we borrowed without paying for. We...erm...sent the royalty check to some starving kids in Africa, but then Madonna adopted them and we lost track of it after that. Sorryboutcha.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Why We Write
Sorry Dom, I may not have tails of Portland success to regale you with this week, but snark I've got in abundance. Having gone down to South Shore and given up a slim early-second half lead to record another tough loss, they then have the temerity to ask why we publish our match reports. The implication here is that we give away too much of ourselves by publishing our exploits (or lack thereof) for everyone to see.
This has sent my in to an uncharacteristic fit of soul searching, wondering if, by my actions, I have somehow been responsible for the record that it has become my increasingly solemn duty to report each week. Well, after the five minutes that it took to search the very depths of my character (which included time to make a sandwich), I've concluded that there is probably lots that I have done (or not done) to contribute to our record, but that writing and publishing match reports is pretty low down on the list. I fully intend to "go off" on this subject in a moment, but for those without a taste for self-righteous indignation, of if you're from Burlington or Hartford and just want to pick up some juicy facts for the coming weeks, here are the deets from this past weekend:
"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns". Ah, George Eliot...how he/she so eloquently captures the beauty of the seasons. Oh, wait...that's right...I'm supposed to be giving away club secrets, not waxing lyrical.
So it was sunny and windy, and it was nice. Both sides were well matched through the first half although South Shore scored first when their winger broke through to score underneath the posts, giving the home side a 7-point lead. Within 10 minutes Portland struck back after passing the ball through several pairs of hands to send Hannes diving over for another try to add to his growing tally. 7-7 at half time.
Early in the Second Half Portland pressured the South Shore line again, but had to settle for a penalty and a slim 10-7 lead. Although this pressure continued, the advantage began to slip as South Shore made some shrewd substitutions that added further beef to their already strong pack. As the game drew in to the final quarter the South Shore dominance up front was almost complete, which ultimately yielded two scores through concerted forward pressure. Final score 21-10.
There then. I defy our remaining opponents to glean much tactical advantage from a write up like that. You could get a wealth more knowledge from a couple of well placed e-mails around the league than you ever could from the well-worn cliches that I churn out. Hell, you could read the ref's report for that matter.
Of course, it could be different (and worse, for our opponents). I could have chosen to write about South Shore's lineout preferences and the best way to combat them. Indeed, there are any number of juicy tidbits about South Shore or any of the other teams that we have played that I could have posted up here in our match reports, but I think you'll find that my style leans more towards the prosaic than the factual. That's just how I roll.
So why do I bother? Well, other than the pleasure derived from mental masturbation, I like to think that the match report offers some kind of catharsis for those involved, and helps keep the club together, particularly during the times when things might not be going so well. Hopefully the broader Portland Rugby community, who may no longer be playing, but who may still be interested in the fortunes of the club, are also kept sufficiently interested so that when the time comes to pass the hat or scrape up an Old Boys team they will answer the call.
So as I plow this lonely furrow of match reports and random rambling, and cast my gaze across the sites of our competitors, I can't help but think that the impression elsewhere is one of dereliction. I'm sure, in fact I know, that many of our fellow clubs are vibrant beneath the surface, but are wenoy not [thanks, Jimmy] all in the end in the business of marketing ourselves to prospective players? Personally speaking, if all you have in "Club News" is your paintball outing in March, last year's banquet or some cursory reference to your latest result, I can't help but find it all a bit lacking. Shouldn't there be some kind of virtual tumbleweed blowing across these scenes?
We're lucky here in Portland that there aren't too many other choices for playing rugby, so even those lads with too short of an attention span to read all this rubbish will probably end up playing with us anyway. But in a competitive recruitment environment like Boston, I'd think that displaying a little activity on your website might go a long way. It may sound a bit gay, but I think most of us are in this to nourish our souls as well as meet our physical need to run around and hit things, so a spark of personality might go a long way.
In the end, this probably represents the biggest change I've seen in Division II in the year that we were away. For all its shortcomings, Division III was a more vibrant community, from the Wolfhounds to Middlesex to Seacaost. For all the intensity of competition, they were for the most part, as they say at the 'hounds, "in it for the craic". All of this new found seriousness in DII brings a smirk to my face, and it seems to come from a lack of perspective. We are all, after all, playing a modest level of rugby in what some might call a third-world rugby nation. I think that makes us more like missionaries than anything else. As boys we all watched our favorite athletes on TV (or for some of you, your favorite dance routines on Broadway), and we tried to copy them, but it was all just play-acting in the end.
Sorry, I lost my way a bit there. Of course, were we 5-1 instead of 1-5, you might say that I'd be singing a different song, and the website would be as tight lipped as a Tony Snow press conference. But I'd be the first to admit that writing all this crap is above all self-indulgent, so until the club slaps me with a muzzle order I'd like to think that I'd keep spouting off, regardless of our record.
My old pal Oscar Wilde noted that, "It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously." Some might say that this blog is a case in point.
Your are now free to post your vitriolic response below.
P.S. The Killer B's either won, lost or tied; but whatever it was, it was close. It looked like two tries for each side to me. A side man-of-the-match honors went to Scotty Derrig, getting it done at full back, and B side honors went to Ed Lutjens for scoring the final try in the B game, that might have won it...or tied it...or not.
This has sent my in to an uncharacteristic fit of soul searching, wondering if, by my actions, I have somehow been responsible for the record that it has become my increasingly solemn duty to report each week. Well, after the five minutes that it took to search the very depths of my character (which included time to make a sandwich), I've concluded that there is probably lots that I have done (or not done) to contribute to our record, but that writing and publishing match reports is pretty low down on the list. I fully intend to "go off" on this subject in a moment, but for those without a taste for self-righteous indignation, of if you're from Burlington or Hartford and just want to pick up some juicy facts for the coming weeks, here are the deets from this past weekend:
"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns". Ah, George Eliot...how he/she so eloquently captures the beauty of the seasons. Oh, wait...that's right...I'm supposed to be giving away club secrets, not waxing lyrical.
So it was sunny and windy, and it was nice. Both sides were well matched through the first half although South Shore scored first when their winger broke through to score underneath the posts, giving the home side a 7-point lead. Within 10 minutes Portland struck back after passing the ball through several pairs of hands to send Hannes diving over for another try to add to his growing tally. 7-7 at half time.
Early in the Second Half Portland pressured the South Shore line again, but had to settle for a penalty and a slim 10-7 lead. Although this pressure continued, the advantage began to slip as South Shore made some shrewd substitutions that added further beef to their already strong pack. As the game drew in to the final quarter the South Shore dominance up front was almost complete, which ultimately yielded two scores through concerted forward pressure. Final score 21-10.
There then. I defy our remaining opponents to glean much tactical advantage from a write up like that. You could get a wealth more knowledge from a couple of well placed e-mails around the league than you ever could from the well-worn cliches that I churn out. Hell, you could read the ref's report for that matter.
Of course, it could be different (and worse, for our opponents). I could have chosen to write about South Shore's lineout preferences and the best way to combat them. Indeed, there are any number of juicy tidbits about South Shore or any of the other teams that we have played that I could have posted up here in our match reports, but I think you'll find that my style leans more towards the prosaic than the factual. That's just how I roll.
So why do I bother? Well, other than the pleasure derived from mental masturbation, I like to think that the match report offers some kind of catharsis for those involved, and helps keep the club together, particularly during the times when things might not be going so well. Hopefully the broader Portland Rugby community, who may no longer be playing, but who may still be interested in the fortunes of the club, are also kept sufficiently interested so that when the time comes to pass the hat or scrape up an Old Boys team they will answer the call.
So as I plow this lonely furrow of match reports and random rambling, and cast my gaze across the sites of our competitors, I can't help but think that the impression elsewhere is one of dereliction. I'm sure, in fact I know, that many of our fellow clubs are vibrant beneath the surface, but are we
We're lucky here in Portland that there aren't too many other choices for playing rugby, so even those lads with too short of an attention span to read all this rubbish will probably end up playing with us anyway. But in a competitive recruitment environment like Boston, I'd think that displaying a little activity on your website might go a long way. It may sound a bit gay, but I think most of us are in this to nourish our souls as well as meet our physical need to run around and hit things, so a spark of personality might go a long way.
In the end, this probably represents the biggest change I've seen in Division II in the year that we were away. For all its shortcomings, Division III was a more vibrant community, from the Wolfhounds to Middlesex to Seacaost. For all the intensity of competition, they were for the most part, as they say at the 'hounds, "in it for the craic". All of this new found seriousness in DII brings a smirk to my face, and it seems to come from a lack of perspective. We are all, after all, playing a modest level of rugby in what some might call a third-world rugby nation. I think that makes us more like missionaries than anything else. As boys we all watched our favorite athletes on TV (or for some of you, your favorite dance routines on Broadway), and we tried to copy them, but it was all just play-acting in the end.
Sorry, I lost my way a bit there. Of course, were we 5-1 instead of 1-5, you might say that I'd be singing a different song, and the website would be as tight lipped as a Tony Snow press conference. But I'd be the first to admit that writing all this crap is above all self-indulgent, so until the club slaps me with a muzzle order I'd like to think that I'd keep spouting off, regardless of our record.
My old pal Oscar Wilde noted that, "It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously." Some might say that this blog is a case in point.
Your are now free to post your vitriolic response below.
P.S. The Killer B's either won, lost or tied; but whatever it was, it was close. It looked like two tries for each side to me. A side man-of-the-match honors went to Scotty Derrig, getting it done at full back, and B side honors went to Ed Lutjens for scoring the final try in the B game, that might have won it...or tied it...or not.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Post Up
When we added the comment feature to the site, Dom suggested that we had a "slow motion train wreck" on our hands. Well what the hell good is a train wreck when it happens so slowly that you can't even see it? Damn. I can count the comments we've had on one hand.
I've heard tell that the current process is "too complicated", and that it's stopping you from getting your comment on. Hey, if J-Wil and Freddie can figure it out, that argument doesn't really hold up to much scrutiny. If you ask me, I think you're just shy and laboring under the illusion that a lot of people will see the dumb stuff you write. Well, let me set you straight on that one. While we may have had north of 39,000 visitors in the last year or so, in this series of tubes that we lovingly know as the internet, that barely constitutes a heartbeat. Hell, I'm sure Tractor's MySpace page gets more visits than that.
But, in an effort to coax you out of your shell, we've turned off the registration requirements for posting a comment, so now you no longer need to create an account to vent your spleen. You can even post anonymously if you're a total weenie. Don't worry, you can still man up and put your name (or someone else's) alongside your post, so everyone will still know how funny you are.
So, dust off your muse and get to commenting. It all adds to the rich texture of the site.
Oh, and BTW, all the comments are still moderated, so all those nasty things you want to say about South Shore still might not make it up on the site. As before, funny trumps angry every time.
Practice tonight (10/19) at Riverton School, South Shore away this weekend. Get some.
I've heard tell that the current process is "too complicated", and that it's stopping you from getting your comment on. Hey, if J-Wil and Freddie can figure it out, that argument doesn't really hold up to much scrutiny. If you ask me, I think you're just shy and laboring under the illusion that a lot of people will see the dumb stuff you write. Well, let me set you straight on that one. While we may have had north of 39,000 visitors in the last year or so, in this series of tubes that we lovingly know as the internet, that barely constitutes a heartbeat. Hell, I'm sure Tractor's MySpace page gets more visits than that.
But, in an effort to coax you out of your shell, we've turned off the registration requirements for posting a comment, so now you no longer need to create an account to vent your spleen. You can even post anonymously if you're a total weenie. Don't worry, you can still man up and put your name (or someone else's) alongside your post, so everyone will still know how funny you are.
So, dust off your muse and get to commenting. It all adds to the rich texture of the site.
Oh, and BTW, all the comments are still moderated, so all those nasty things you want to say about South Shore still might not make it up on the site. As before, funny trumps angry every time.
Practice tonight (10/19) at Riverton School, South Shore away this weekend. Get some.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
"The Man" keeps practice down - Thurs 10/12
Yeah, that's right. The effin' Man thinks that the city's fields are far too precious to let us run around on them, and that they need to be preserved for the bunch of no-talent 6 year olds who like to stand around and pick flowers at soccer practice.
So, er...anyway, no training tonight. Find a hill and run up and down it 'til you puke.
Then go home and have an early night. Snuggle up with a good movie, like this one featuring this Christmas' "hottest" toy.
So, er...anyway, no training tonight. Find a hill and run up and down it 'til you puke.
Then go home and have an early night. Snuggle up with a good movie, like this one featuring this Christmas' "hottest" toy.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Maine Mainacs Defeat All Blacks (sort of)
While Portland's 1st XV was mixing it up with Newport, an assortment of players and old boys from various Maine teams travelled to NH for the first ever One Helix Cup against the NZ Consular XV.
Spare a thought for Karen Woodsum, who provides us with the following match report and the associated pics [click through the shot for more action]. With sons playing in each of the games on Saturday, she finally had to choose which one she loved the most.
Don't worry Francis, we still love you.
Maine Wins Inaugural One Helix Cup Rugby Match
The much anticipated rugby match between the Consul XV and the Maine Maniacs took place Saturday, October 7, 2006. After the obligatory team pictures the New Zealand team attempted to intimidate their opponents with a loud and enthusiastic haka. The haka appeared to work its magic on the Maine Maniacs as the Consul XV dominated the first period. Indeed, the Consul XV landed the first score as Paddy Casey broke tackles to race into the try zone. Not to be completely intimidated, Chip Brewer, of the Maine Maniacs took a pass at about midfield and zigged and zagged his way down to tie the game.
As the second of the three 15 minute periods began, the conditioning of the New Zealand team (or lack thereof, i.e. I learned that our host and hooker for the Consul XV, Simon Leeming, trained by getting on the treadmill a couple days ago) began to take its toll. Although the Maine Maniacs dominated the second period, the New Zealand team dug in their heels and held fast, preventing any scoring. During the third period, Mike O'Callaghan, a former All Black from New Zealand, tried valiantly to put more points on the board for the Consul XV. However, with five minutes remaining in the game it was again Chip Brewer who took a pass from Jerry McQueeney and put the Maine Maniacs ahead. Justin Rutledge then added the two point conversion capping the scoring at Maine Maniacs - 12, Consul XV - 5.
The lust for blood and broken bones will have to be fulfilled by the knowledge that many a player would be feeling bruised and achy the following day. New cleats, worn for the first time on Saturday, will be put away hoping to be pulled out again next year in a rematch between the teams. As is traditional after a rugby match the teams put aside their differences and spent an evening together drinking and singing.
Spare a thought for Karen Woodsum, who provides us with the following match report and the associated pics [click through the shot for more action]. With sons playing in each of the games on Saturday, she finally had to choose which one she loved the most.
Don't worry Francis, we still love you.
The much anticipated rugby match between the Consul XV and the Maine Maniacs took place Saturday, October 7, 2006. After the obligatory team pictures the New Zealand team attempted to intimidate their opponents with a loud and enthusiastic haka. The haka appeared to work its magic on the Maine Maniacs as the Consul XV dominated the first period. Indeed, the Consul XV landed the first score as Paddy Casey broke tackles to race into the try zone. Not to be completely intimidated, Chip Brewer, of the Maine Maniacs took a pass at about midfield and zigged and zagged his way down to tie the game.
As the second of the three 15 minute periods began, the conditioning of the New Zealand team (or lack thereof, i.e. I learned that our host and hooker for the Consul XV, Simon Leeming, trained by getting on the treadmill a couple days ago) began to take its toll. Although the Maine Maniacs dominated the second period, the New Zealand team dug in their heels and held fast, preventing any scoring. During the third period, Mike O'Callaghan, a former All Black from New Zealand, tried valiantly to put more points on the board for the Consul XV. However, with five minutes remaining in the game it was again Chip Brewer who took a pass from Jerry McQueeney and put the Maine Maniacs ahead. Justin Rutledge then added the two point conversion capping the scoring at Maine Maniacs - 12, Consul XV - 5.
The lust for blood and broken bones will have to be fulfilled by the knowledge that many a player would be feeling bruised and achy the following day. New cleats, worn for the first time on Saturday, will be put away hoping to be pulled out again next year in a rematch between the teams. As is traditional after a rugby match the teams put aside their differences and spent an evening together drinking and singing.
Monday, October 09, 2006
Oh Rugby, you've a million ways to be cruel
If there's one thing harder than enduring this streak of narrow losses we've been on, it's having to find new ways to write about it every week. It's times like these when I almost wish I was on any of those other teams in the league who never bother to post their scores, let alone string two sentences together to catalog their exploits.
But then again, it was Churchill who said, "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it". So when the rugby historians dig up the archives of rugby in New England during the early years of the 21st century (which I'm sure will be high on their list of things to do), they're just going to think it was me holding the whole thing together - and then they're going to name a stadium after me, which they will be building to host the 2112 Rugby World Cup that is being held in New England. Oh, howconfused proud my great-grandchildren will be.
So, anyhoo, back to the present. Saturday brought Newport to our fair city, riding in on a 1-2 losing record all of their own, having also coughed it up against Charles River and Providence. By all accounts the form book would have had us in a close heat, and sure enough, the game was to be a tough one. Of course, it seems like Newport have spent a little cash on the transfer market since we last met, with one of their acquisition being so new he still had his price tag on.
But hey, both sides were fielding a few changes since we met in the Spring, and them's the breaks. What hadn't changed since then was the pace of the game, which began fast, and stayed on a steady boil throughout. Newport dominated the early possession, and capitalized early with a try down the weak side which they duly converted. Although Portland managed to extract their own fair share of possession, given strong scrummaging and lineouts, they had a hard time breaking the gainline. Nevertheless, thanks to the boot of Andy Nelson, we were able to remain somewhat in touch by way of a couple of penalty kicks.
Glossing over the rest of the first half, which seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, Newport kicked a couple of penalties of their own, and the scoreline at the break was (I think) 13-6.
The second half opened with Portland pushing hard, and they soon found themselves with a lineout in the corner that they were able to maul over for an early try, leaving a very narrow 12-11 deficit. More pressure ensued, and Even Harding dropped a goal from right in front to give Portland a slender 14-12 lead of their own. Clearly rattled, Newport soon gave up another penalty within striking distance, although this time Andy's kick just drifted right to keep the game balanced on a knife edge.
Newport regrouped and began to threaten again, spinning the ball wide in an effort to make a breakthrough. With 10 minutes remaining they found their opportunity, as their full back chipped through a crowd of players to emerge the other side and gather up his own kick and run it in for the score.
With the scoreline now 20-14, Portland were still in with a shout, but the Newport defences held firm, and that's how it all ended. Another tough loss, but unlike previous weeks, this one didn't feel like a gift to the opposition. We'd like to think that Newport was made to work for it throughout.
Man of the Match honors went to Andy Nelson for his (almost) unerring boot, and for his strong performance in the scrum, where Portland dominated and stole several against the head.
The B Side game saw the return of the Killer B's as their fitness and aggression took care of Newport B's by something like 2 tries to 1. Man of the Match honors there went to Josh (the new guy).
Portland get a rest this weekend, and face South Shore away on 10/21.
But then again, it was Churchill who said, "History will be kind to me for I intend to write it". So when the rugby historians dig up the archives of rugby in New England during the early years of the 21st century (which I'm sure will be high on their list of things to do), they're just going to think it was me holding the whole thing together - and then they're going to name a stadium after me, which they will be building to host the 2112 Rugby World Cup that is being held in New England. Oh, how
So, anyhoo, back to the present. Saturday brought Newport to our fair city, riding in on a 1-2 losing record all of their own, having also coughed it up against Charles River and Providence. By all accounts the form book would have had us in a close heat, and sure enough, the game was to be a tough one. Of course, it seems like Newport have spent a little cash on the transfer market since we last met, with one of their acquisition being so new he still had his price tag on.
But hey, both sides were fielding a few changes since we met in the Spring, and them's the breaks. What hadn't changed since then was the pace of the game, which began fast, and stayed on a steady boil throughout. Newport dominated the early possession, and capitalized early with a try down the weak side which they duly converted. Although Portland managed to extract their own fair share of possession, given strong scrummaging and lineouts, they had a hard time breaking the gainline. Nevertheless, thanks to the boot of Andy Nelson, we were able to remain somewhat in touch by way of a couple of penalty kicks.
Glossing over the rest of the first half, which seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, Newport kicked a couple of penalties of their own, and the scoreline at the break was (I think) 13-6.
The second half opened with Portland pushing hard, and they soon found themselves with a lineout in the corner that they were able to maul over for an early try, leaving a very narrow 12-11 deficit. More pressure ensued, and Even Harding dropped a goal from right in front to give Portland a slender 14-12 lead of their own. Clearly rattled, Newport soon gave up another penalty within striking distance, although this time Andy's kick just drifted right to keep the game balanced on a knife edge.
Newport regrouped and began to threaten again, spinning the ball wide in an effort to make a breakthrough. With 10 minutes remaining they found their opportunity, as their full back chipped through a crowd of players to emerge the other side and gather up his own kick and run it in for the score.
With the scoreline now 20-14, Portland were still in with a shout, but the Newport defences held firm, and that's how it all ended. Another tough loss, but unlike previous weeks, this one didn't feel like a gift to the opposition. We'd like to think that Newport was made to work for it throughout.
Man of the Match honors went to Andy Nelson for his (almost) unerring boot, and for his strong performance in the scrum, where Portland dominated and stole several against the head.
The B Side game saw the return of the Killer B's as their fitness and aggression took care of Newport B's by something like 2 tries to 1. Man of the Match honors there went to Josh (the new guy).
Portland get a rest this weekend, and face South Shore away on 10/21.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Team Alaska Pride
Those of you who have been playing for the club for a few years will remember our hard-hitting Center/Wing, CB Brady, who quit the game in favor of less hazardous pursuits.
To fill up all his free time he's taken up "extreme" Adventure Racing which, as you can see from the picture, looks rather silly but in reality is something of a workout. Those of you who know CB will realize that he's custom built for such a sport, given his endurance, extremely high pain threshold and "extreme" fashion sense.
CB and his teammates have been rocking the White Mountains lately, with a 2nd Place finish in the 24hr Adventure Race New England Adventure Series held at Gunstock, NH, and the 1st Place overall in the Adventure Race New England Series. Yo bro, that's like...extremely extreme!
All kidding aside, it's all in a good cause, as Team Alaska Pride races in an effort to raise money an awarenes to fight Retinitis Pigmentosa. This is a degenerative eye condition that CB himself suffers from, which not only forced him to quit drinking beer, but also seems to have progressed to the point where he no longer looks at himself in the mirror. A cruel affliction indeed.
So, to find out more about CB's exploits, and what you can do to help fight RP, vist teamalaskapride.org
To fill up all his free time he's taken up "extreme" Adventure Racing which, as you can see from the picture, looks rather silly but in reality is something of a workout. Those of you who know CB will realize that he's custom built for such a sport, given his endurance, extremely high pain threshold and "extreme" fashion sense.
CB and his teammates have been rocking the White Mountains lately, with a 2nd Place finish in the 24hr Adventure Race New England Adventure Series held at Gunstock, NH, and the 1st Place overall in the Adventure Race New England Series. Yo bro, that's like...extremely extreme!
All kidding aside, it's all in a good cause, as Team Alaska Pride races in an effort to raise money an awarenes to fight Retinitis Pigmentosa. This is a degenerative eye condition that CB himself suffers from, which not only forced him to quit drinking beer, but also seems to have progressed to the point where he no longer looks at himself in the mirror. A cruel affliction indeed.
So, to find out more about CB's exploits, and what you can do to help fight RP, vist teamalaskapride.org
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
River poaches win in Moakley Park quarry
Ooof!
Of all the near-misses so far this season, losing out to Charles River in the dying seconds of last Saturday's match has to be the hardest to swallow. All tied up at 22-all with only a few seconds left to play, Charles River stole the final lineout to spin the ball quickly to their backs, busting through and scoring at the death. Standing under the posts, waiting for the conversion, Portland began to experience the natural grief cycle of anyone experiencing sudden loss: shock gives way to denial, which inevitably leads to anger, then bargaining, then depression and ultimately, some time after the third or fourth drink...acceptance.
This result left Charles River undefeated at 3-0, and Portland struggling to come to terms with a 1-3 record the belies the strong and often times dominant performances they have put on.
Although it was the last few moments of the match that saw Charles River administer a donkey punch all of their own, it could so very easily have been a different scenario, with Portland passing up a number of chances and giving away easy points that kept Charles River in the running throughout the match.
As usual Portland came out cold, giving up two soft tries in the opening minutes and finding themselves in a 12-point hole before they even had a chance to know what hit them. For once though the team reacted quickly and soon put Hannes over in the corner to claw back some precious points.
With its first score on the board Portland settled in to a more controlled phase of play, and although Portland's pack dominated, Charles River was able to secure enough possession to make sure their strong backline was an everpresent threat. Portland were eventually able to draw level however, as Scotty Derrig scampered through traffic from a quickly taken penalty.
As the first half drew to a close, it appeared as though Portland were going to go in to the break level, with the promise of the slope and the breeze in their favor for the second half. This was not to be however, as Portland's concentration lapsed, allowing Charles River to kick a penalty and take another quick try, giving Portland a 10-point deficit to contemplate during half time.
Unperturbed, Portland came out strong in the second half, scoring an early try (Hannes again), and claiming a penalty of their own, and before long the scores were level again. Everything seemed to be going to plan. Portland continued to dominate possession, which offered up its fair share of chances. Two penalties were missed, along with a drop-goal attempt and several other near-misses in or around the Charles River try zone. Try as they might though, Portland were unable to break the stalemate, and as the clock ticked down they began to relax into the prospect of the inevitable draw. Well...we all know how that ended up, so let's not go over it again.
Emotions were still running high in the B game, and although it look like Charles River might have had the upper hand (points-wise) the game was called early thanks to the freely flying fists and general all around bad temper.
Another Saturday, another kick in the nuts.
Portland host Newport at home this coming weekend. 1:45pm kick off at Dougherty Field, off Douglas Street.
Of all the near-misses so far this season, losing out to Charles River in the dying seconds of last Saturday's match has to be the hardest to swallow. All tied up at 22-all with only a few seconds left to play, Charles River stole the final lineout to spin the ball quickly to their backs, busting through and scoring at the death. Standing under the posts, waiting for the conversion, Portland began to experience the natural grief cycle of anyone experiencing sudden loss: shock gives way to denial, which inevitably leads to anger, then bargaining, then depression and ultimately, some time after the third or fourth drink...acceptance.
This result left Charles River undefeated at 3-0, and Portland struggling to come to terms with a 1-3 record the belies the strong and often times dominant performances they have put on.
Although it was the last few moments of the match that saw Charles River administer a donkey punch all of their own, it could so very easily have been a different scenario, with Portland passing up a number of chances and giving away easy points that kept Charles River in the running throughout the match.
As usual Portland came out cold, giving up two soft tries in the opening minutes and finding themselves in a 12-point hole before they even had a chance to know what hit them. For once though the team reacted quickly and soon put Hannes over in the corner to claw back some precious points.
With its first score on the board Portland settled in to a more controlled phase of play, and although Portland's pack dominated, Charles River was able to secure enough possession to make sure their strong backline was an everpresent threat. Portland were eventually able to draw level however, as Scotty Derrig scampered through traffic from a quickly taken penalty.
As the first half drew to a close, it appeared as though Portland were going to go in to the break level, with the promise of the slope and the breeze in their favor for the second half. This was not to be however, as Portland's concentration lapsed, allowing Charles River to kick a penalty and take another quick try, giving Portland a 10-point deficit to contemplate during half time.
Unperturbed, Portland came out strong in the second half, scoring an early try (Hannes again), and claiming a penalty of their own, and before long the scores were level again. Everything seemed to be going to plan. Portland continued to dominate possession, which offered up its fair share of chances. Two penalties were missed, along with a drop-goal attempt and several other near-misses in or around the Charles River try zone. Try as they might though, Portland were unable to break the stalemate, and as the clock ticked down they began to relax into the prospect of the inevitable draw. Well...we all know how that ended up, so let's not go over it again.
Emotions were still running high in the B game, and although it look like Charles River might have had the upper hand (points-wise) the game was called early thanks to the freely flying fists and general all around bad temper.
Another Saturday, another kick in the nuts.
Portland host Newport at home this coming weekend. 1:45pm kick off at Dougherty Field, off Douglas Street.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Like the heavens, Portland opens [it up] at home
The weather forecast said "scattered showers", but it was a steady rain that greeted fans and players alike this past Saturday. Just the kind of steady rain that has come to be known as "Portland weather". Nevertheless, after a couple of near misses Portland finally got the win they've been looking for, galloping home in grand style against the visitors, Springfield.
Despite an optimistic outlook leading up to this fixture, Portland began nervously, taken aback by by Springfield's early aggression, as they ran a number of quick penalties to gain some significant ground.
Slowly however Portland began to come to life, and it was Ryan Facey, in his first start as A-side scrum half, who got the party started with a 50 yd. breakaway try, leaving Springfield with little to show for their earlier territorial advantage.
From that point onwards Portland began to play (and score) more freely. Initally, given the conditions, it was left to the forwards to do much of the heavy lifting, but after a fair degree of whining from the backs, and with a comfortable points margin established, Portland began to swing the ball around.
For the balance of the half Portland controlled the game, thanks in large part to the kicking of Evan Harding, who would go on to earn Man of the Match for his efforts.
Towards the break Portland went off the boil a little, although much of the damage had already been done. Halftime saw some fresh legs come on in the front row to continue the pressure on the Springfield pack. As usual however, the break in play caused Portland to loose their rhythm, which Springfield were able to exploit by running in their solitary try of the day.
Stung in to action by the lapse of concentration, the home side set about regaining control, and despite several more substitutions they continued to run the show, scoring at will.
All in all, nine tries were scored. Three to Hannes, two to Ryan, and one each for (I think) myself, Jarred, Tom Zabriski and Dan Joyce. If I've got that wrong, please correct me in the comments section below. What I am sure about however is that the final score was 62-5, a just reward for all the hard work put in the preceeding week. Mark Griffin also made 7 of 9 conversion attempts, plus one penalty for a solid day with the boot.
Some great pics of the A game first-half can be found here, and come to us courtesy of Eric Holsinger.
The B game provided more of the same, with Portland dominating a Springfield team that was playing its second game of the day. The scoreline and the scorers are unknown (to me), but if you were involved, please regail us with your exploits in the comments section below. B side Man of the Match went to Ben.
Portland travels to Charles River this coming weekend, who put up similar numbers against Springfield, so it promises to be another good game, for which all troops are required.
Despite an optimistic outlook leading up to this fixture, Portland began nervously, taken aback by by Springfield's early aggression, as they ran a number of quick penalties to gain some significant ground.
Slowly however Portland began to come to life, and it was Ryan Facey, in his first start as A-side scrum half, who got the party started with a 50 yd. breakaway try, leaving Springfield with little to show for their earlier territorial advantage.
From that point onwards Portland began to play (and score) more freely. Initally, given the conditions, it was left to the forwards to do much of the heavy lifting, but after a fair degree of whining from the backs, and with a comfortable points margin established, Portland began to swing the ball around.
For the balance of the half Portland controlled the game, thanks in large part to the kicking of Evan Harding, who would go on to earn Man of the Match for his efforts.
Towards the break Portland went off the boil a little, although much of the damage had already been done. Halftime saw some fresh legs come on in the front row to continue the pressure on the Springfield pack. As usual however, the break in play caused Portland to loose their rhythm, which Springfield were able to exploit by running in their solitary try of the day.
Stung in to action by the lapse of concentration, the home side set about regaining control, and despite several more substitutions they continued to run the show, scoring at will.
All in all, nine tries were scored. Three to Hannes, two to Ryan, and one each for (I think) myself, Jarred, Tom Zabriski and Dan Joyce. If I've got that wrong, please correct me in the comments section below. What I am sure about however is that the final score was 62-5, a just reward for all the hard work put in the preceeding week. Mark Griffin also made 7 of 9 conversion attempts, plus one penalty for a solid day with the boot.
Some great pics of the A game first-half can be found here, and come to us courtesy of Eric Holsinger.
The B game provided more of the same, with Portland dominating a Springfield team that was playing its second game of the day. The scoreline and the scorers are unknown (to me), but if you were involved, please regail us with your exploits in the comments section below. B side Man of the Match went to Ben.
Portland travels to Charles River this coming weekend, who put up similar numbers against Springfield, so it promises to be another good game, for which all troops are required.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Johnny Law Gets His Say
If you're tired of reading my fair and balanced match reports, you can now click on over to the newly created New England Refs website, where refs will get to sound off about how nobody loves them.
Although the site is largely under construction, the Match Report section seems to be up and running, although some refs seem more conscientious than others about filling these out. Nevertheless, it's a good spot to pick up a little intel. Here's another perspective on the Providence game, finally a scoreline on the Newport/Springfield encounter, a brief look at the Burlington upset over Hartford, and much, much more.
Just more stuff for you rugby junkies to obsess about. Enjoy!
Although the site is largely under construction, the Match Report section seems to be up and running, although some refs seem more conscientious than others about filling these out. Nevertheless, it's a good spot to pick up a little intel. Here's another perspective on the Providence game, finally a scoreline on the Newport/Springfield encounter, a brief look at the Burlington upset over Hartford, and much, much more.
Just more stuff for you rugby junkies to obsess about. Enjoy!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Portland Still Winless; Foxy Lady Fails To Ease The Pain
Portland took their "Back in D2" tour on the road this past weekend, bringing the goodness to the fair city of Providence, where, after years playing rugby in the seamy back streets of the "Beehive of Industry", the Providence Rugby Club has graduated to the rather tony surroundings of East Greenwich.
This week Portland were sporting a bit of a new look themselves, with a significantly restructured side from their earlier loss to Old Gold. While some changes were by design, others were enforced due to injury or absence, leaving only a handful of players in their original starting positions from the previous match. Nevertheless, the lineup was a strong one and as you'll see, the team played with a confidence belying the unfamiliar lineup.
Portland were able to apply some decent pressure right from the kick off, but for the most part the well timed kicking from the opposition fly half kept Providence out of any serious danger in the early stages. Having said that however, Portland did appear as though they were threatening to score at one stage, after some cohesive forward play left a 3-on-1 overload on the far side. Faced with few defensive options, the opposing winger chose correctly, picking off the interception to turn the play around completely to set up a try at the other end. Ouch! Not a very fitting reward for the early effort.
While still reeling from that early disappointment Providence were able to run in another quick score, putting Portland in a 14-point hole with only a quarter of the game gone. Certainly not the start we were looking for, and one that could have easily gotten out of hand if we weren't careful.
From this point on however Portland dug in, and thanks to a pretty dominant lineout performance coupled with some improved tackling at the fringe of the breakdown, the visitors were able to stop the rot and even mount some offense of their own. Portland ended the half with their tails up, and a sense that they could make a game of this yet.
Shortly after the break Scotty Derrig turned this belief into points with a swift blindside break from about 10 yards out, scooting in to the try zone unmolested. Andy Nelson converted to bring the scoreline to 14-7 and breathing some life back into this contest.
From there the play ebbed and flowed for a while, which is a nice way of saying that I can't remember what went on, but I do know that Providence scored next after creating an overload on the open side. The angle fo the coversion proved too much and the lead was only increased to 19-7.
This time however Portland struck back immediately, taking a scrum against the head which was worked to the open side, to see Evan then pop it back inside to Scotty, who crossed the line for the second time. Mark Griffin converted this one, bringing Portland tantalizingly close at 19-14, with 10 minutes left to play.
The last minutes were played at a frenetic pace, but time after time Providence were able to clear their lines, sending Portland back to regroup and mount another assault. The pressure began to tell, with Providence picking up two late yellow cards, but alas the clock ran out before Portland could capitalize, leaving the final score at 19-14, with Portland receiving some consolation as they picked up their first point of the season for the narrow loss.
The "Killer" B's however experienced no such disappointment, as they borrowed a couple of local lads and dominated their game from the start. At the helm was a fired up Ryan Facey, who marshaled his troops expertly, with assistance from several A-side veterans. Man of the Match honors went to Bob (who's last name I'm ashamed to say I still don't know) who displayed some deft handling and strong tackling at center.
So, after a (mostly) glorious Spring, dropping two games on the bounce may have brought on a strange new feeling of impotence, and sometimes you need a little reminder of what it is to be a man. So, when the Providence drink up is no more than a keg toss from the renown Foxy Lady, the temptation to find love in the arms of a stranger is really too hard to pass up. For that brief moment you can convince yourself that you are loved by (or in love with) this vision before you, who surely is only stripping to pay her way through med school, and is just waiting to be whisked away from it all. That is, of course, until you run out of singles and the fat guy flashing the twentys shows up, and then there you are, all alone, still 0-and-2, being told that you shouldn't sit so close to the stage if you're not going to front up any more cash. Right Al?
But of course, no amount of silicone can heal the hurt you feel inside, and the only real cure is to go to training, and to stick it to Springfield, so for pity-sake get a hold of yourself man, get over it, and get to training.
So, I guess the victory dance stays on the shelf for another week...
This week Portland were sporting a bit of a new look themselves, with a significantly restructured side from their earlier loss to Old Gold. While some changes were by design, others were enforced due to injury or absence, leaving only a handful of players in their original starting positions from the previous match. Nevertheless, the lineup was a strong one and as you'll see, the team played with a confidence belying the unfamiliar lineup.
Portland were able to apply some decent pressure right from the kick off, but for the most part the well timed kicking from the opposition fly half kept Providence out of any serious danger in the early stages. Having said that however, Portland did appear as though they were threatening to score at one stage, after some cohesive forward play left a 3-on-1 overload on the far side. Faced with few defensive options, the opposing winger chose correctly, picking off the interception to turn the play around completely to set up a try at the other end. Ouch! Not a very fitting reward for the early effort.
While still reeling from that early disappointment Providence were able to run in another quick score, putting Portland in a 14-point hole with only a quarter of the game gone. Certainly not the start we were looking for, and one that could have easily gotten out of hand if we weren't careful.
From this point on however Portland dug in, and thanks to a pretty dominant lineout performance coupled with some improved tackling at the fringe of the breakdown, the visitors were able to stop the rot and even mount some offense of their own. Portland ended the half with their tails up, and a sense that they could make a game of this yet.
Shortly after the break Scotty Derrig turned this belief into points with a swift blindside break from about 10 yards out, scooting in to the try zone unmolested. Andy Nelson converted to bring the scoreline to 14-7 and breathing some life back into this contest.
From there the play ebbed and flowed for a while, which is a nice way of saying that I can't remember what went on, but I do know that Providence scored next after creating an overload on the open side. The angle fo the coversion proved too much and the lead was only increased to 19-7.
This time however Portland struck back immediately, taking a scrum against the head which was worked to the open side, to see Evan then pop it back inside to Scotty, who crossed the line for the second time. Mark Griffin converted this one, bringing Portland tantalizingly close at 19-14, with 10 minutes left to play.
The last minutes were played at a frenetic pace, but time after time Providence were able to clear their lines, sending Portland back to regroup and mount another assault. The pressure began to tell, with Providence picking up two late yellow cards, but alas the clock ran out before Portland could capitalize, leaving the final score at 19-14, with Portland receiving some consolation as they picked up their first point of the season for the narrow loss.
The "Killer" B's however experienced no such disappointment, as they borrowed a couple of local lads and dominated their game from the start. At the helm was a fired up Ryan Facey, who marshaled his troops expertly, with assistance from several A-side veterans. Man of the Match honors went to Bob (who's last name I'm ashamed to say I still don't know) who displayed some deft handling and strong tackling at center.
So, after a (mostly) glorious Spring, dropping two games on the bounce may have brought on a strange new feeling of impotence, and sometimes you need a little reminder of what it is to be a man. So, when the Providence drink up is no more than a keg toss from the renown Foxy Lady, the temptation to find love in the arms of a stranger is really too hard to pass up. For that brief moment you can convince yourself that you are loved by (or in love with) this vision before you, who surely is only stripping to pay her way through med school, and is just waiting to be whisked away from it all. That is, of course, until you run out of singles and the fat guy flashing the twentys shows up, and then there you are, all alone, still 0-and-2, being told that you shouldn't sit so close to the stage if you're not going to front up any more cash. Right Al?
But of course, no amount of silicone can heal the hurt you feel inside, and the only real cure is to go to training, and to stick it to Springfield, so for pity-sake get a hold of yourself man, get over it, and get to training.
So, I guess the victory dance stays on the shelf for another week...
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Sweet lovin' from the Insurance Man
Hey, he's not just our Treasurer, he's also Vice President of the HCR Group, which means he's like...one step away from the top guy. Kind of like Dick Cheney.
Yes Sir-ee, and when he's not shooting his friends in the face or hiding in his bunker, Al Parks is brokering some sweet deals with The Man on his health insurance. That's right, 'cos sadly we're not blessed with universal healthcare in this country and we have to pay for the privilege of waiting for hours in the ER with all the other whack-jobs. Too bad.
Anyhoo, if you're one of the great uninsured and that's been one of your excuses for not playing, then it's time to cross that one off the list. Click this here link, and after the jump you'll be whisked away to insurance land where The Man can see you right. Be sure to use Agent Code Q0805, which is the industry code to get you into the VIP Room.
I peeped these rates myself and for a hundred bucks a month I've got coverage up the ying. That's right, just one-hundred-large, and that's for a wheezy old health-risk like me. Imagine what you healthy young pups could get away with.
If that process all sounds a bit too hi-tech, or if you're worried about that nasty pre-existing condition that just wont clear up, you can always call Al directly for a good dose of hisSnake Oil professional courtesy. Here's his digits: 773-5111, then hit ext. 202.
You think if you hit x. 201 you'll get to the Prez himself? Yeah, from what I hear x. 203 gets you the secretary, and their ain't no 204. Vice President...meh!
Yes Sir-ee, and when he's not shooting his friends in the face or hiding in his bunker, Al Parks is brokering some sweet deals with The Man on his health insurance. That's right, 'cos sadly we're not blessed with universal healthcare in this country and we have to pay for the privilege of waiting for hours in the ER with all the other whack-jobs. Too bad.
Anyhoo, if you're one of the great uninsured and that's been one of your excuses for not playing, then it's time to cross that one off the list. Click this here link, and after the jump you'll be whisked away to insurance land where The Man can see you right. Be sure to use Agent Code Q0805, which is the industry code to get you into the VIP Room.
I peeped these rates myself and for a hundred bucks a month I've got coverage up the ying. That's right, just one-hundred-large, and that's for a wheezy old health-risk like me. Imagine what you healthy young pups could get away with.
If that process all sounds a bit too hi-tech, or if you're worried about that nasty pre-existing condition that just wont clear up, you can always call Al directly for a good dose of his
You think if you hit x. 201 you'll get to the Prez himself? Yeah, from what I hear x. 203 gets you the secretary, and their ain't no 204. Vice President...meh!
Monday, September 11, 2006
Ooof! Old Gold takes Home Opener, City Weeps
Portland made a less-than-auspicious return to Division 2 this weekend when they dropped their home opener to Old Gold.
On paper at least it appeared as though the planets were to align in Portland's favor, with a large home turnout presenting a veritable red sea of shirts to welcome the smaller Old Gold contingent. Sadly though the numbers belied a lack of cohesion on the part of the home side, as they failed to string together much in the way of multi-phased play and Old Gold, through tenacious tackling, did well to shut down the Portland offense.
Things started brightly enough for Portland as they opened the scoring when someone (Hannes?) broke away from a maul five meters out from the OG line. A typical Portland try that may have fooled the home side into thinking that things were going to go according to the script. On the contrary. Old Gold soon regained their composure and mounted a concerted counter attack, using their forwards to attack off the fringes of the rucks and mauls to great effect. Before long the pressure told, and the inevitable OG overload ensued. Despite OG's protestations of poor fitness in their own match report (not to mention beating me to the anti-French Henry IV reference), Portland proved even less fit as defensive alignment broke down quickly after just a couple of phases of play.
As a result OG were able to run in two scores of their own before the half, giving them a comfortable, but not insurmountable 12-5 lead.
Tip-toeing gently through the minefield of substitutions made throughout the game, I will say that the second half opened at least with the slope in Portland's favor, so the game was still very much alive.
To their credit, Old Gold did well to snuff out any attempts at a Portland fight back. Tenacious tackling meant that Portland frequently failed to make the gain-line and too often resorted to some aimless kicking down the throats of the waiting opponents. Counter attacks ensued, and precious energy was wasted clawing back the yards lost.
Another Old Gold score widened the gap to 17-5, but with 10 minutes to go, Scotty Derrig found the try line from the fringe of a Portland ruck and Andy Nelson made the conversion to bring the score to 17-12, and for a moment it looked as though the home side was in with a shout.
Alas, Portland's bubble was soon burst as they gave up a penalty deep in their own half, only to see Old Gold deliver the donkey punch and make it a two-score lead with less than 10 minutes to go. Portland simply didn't have the fitness to mount a serious counter attack from there, and the game ended like the final scenes from Rocky, with both sides struggling to stay on their feet as they traded blows. Unlike Rocky however, there will be no sequel and no Mr-T to beat on next time. 20-12 the final, with Man of the Match honors going to Jeff Keating, for tackling like the rest of us ought to.
The B game did however offer up some consolation, not least because Old Gold didn't have enough extras to muster up even a sevens team and had to suffer the indignity of looking to us for extras. In addition to the grovelling, our B's proceeded to lay the hurt down, and despite a late fight back from the Old Gold/Bates motleys, we romped home with something to spare. Man of the Match honors went to the Midfield General, Matt Winch, from bringing together a bunch of new faces and steering them in the right direction.
Thanks to all those who came out to play and support the side, and apololgies to all those same folks for the result. The season is still young however, with plenty of rugby to play, so watch this space for more positive news.
Portland travels to Providence this weekend for more D2 style lovin'
On paper at least it appeared as though the planets were to align in Portland's favor, with a large home turnout presenting a veritable red sea of shirts to welcome the smaller Old Gold contingent. Sadly though the numbers belied a lack of cohesion on the part of the home side, as they failed to string together much in the way of multi-phased play and Old Gold, through tenacious tackling, did well to shut down the Portland offense.
Things started brightly enough for Portland as they opened the scoring when someone (Hannes?) broke away from a maul five meters out from the OG line. A typical Portland try that may have fooled the home side into thinking that things were going to go according to the script. On the contrary. Old Gold soon regained their composure and mounted a concerted counter attack, using their forwards to attack off the fringes of the rucks and mauls to great effect. Before long the pressure told, and the inevitable OG overload ensued. Despite OG's protestations of poor fitness in their own match report (not to mention beating me to the anti-French Henry IV reference), Portland proved even less fit as defensive alignment broke down quickly after just a couple of phases of play.
As a result OG were able to run in two scores of their own before the half, giving them a comfortable, but not insurmountable 12-5 lead.
Tip-toeing gently through the minefield of substitutions made throughout the game, I will say that the second half opened at least with the slope in Portland's favor, so the game was still very much alive.
To their credit, Old Gold did well to snuff out any attempts at a Portland fight back. Tenacious tackling meant that Portland frequently failed to make the gain-line and too often resorted to some aimless kicking down the throats of the waiting opponents. Counter attacks ensued, and precious energy was wasted clawing back the yards lost.
Another Old Gold score widened the gap to 17-5, but with 10 minutes to go, Scotty Derrig found the try line from the fringe of a Portland ruck and Andy Nelson made the conversion to bring the score to 17-12, and for a moment it looked as though the home side was in with a shout.
Alas, Portland's bubble was soon burst as they gave up a penalty deep in their own half, only to see Old Gold deliver the donkey punch and make it a two-score lead with less than 10 minutes to go. Portland simply didn't have the fitness to mount a serious counter attack from there, and the game ended like the final scenes from Rocky, with both sides struggling to stay on their feet as they traded blows. Unlike Rocky however, there will be no sequel and no Mr-T to beat on next time. 20-12 the final, with Man of the Match honors going to Jeff Keating, for tackling like the rest of us ought to.
The B game did however offer up some consolation, not least because Old Gold didn't have enough extras to muster up even a sevens team and had to suffer the indignity of looking to us for extras. In addition to the grovelling, our B's proceeded to lay the hurt down, and despite a late fight back from the Old Gold/Bates motleys, we romped home with something to spare. Man of the Match honors went to the Midfield General, Matt Winch, from bringing together a bunch of new faces and steering them in the right direction.
Thanks to all those who came out to play and support the side, and apololgies to all those same folks for the result. The season is still young however, with plenty of rugby to play, so watch this space for more positive news.
Portland travels to Providence this weekend for more D2 style lovin'
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Mum of the Year
Before you get to the good stuff, just a reminder that it all kicks off big-style on Saturday, 1pm at the line-o-rific Douglas Street field. Get your click on here for directions. If you plan on playing, then you'd better be there at early to make your presence felt. Lot's of rugby for all.
Now, on to the parenting showcase...
Now, on to the parenting showcase...
Rugby.net shameless plug
I've recently updated the Rugby.net World Rugby News site to include news from some of the on-going competitions from around the world, including the remains of the Tri-Nations series in which the Wallabies and Boks fight for the table scraps of the All Black feast and the ever-entertaining domestic competitions of New Zealand and South Africa - the NPC and Currie Cup, respectively. Chock full of fine journalism that doesn't include run-on sentences or sentence fragments like this post.
And don't forget to click on the Google ad links. Each time you click on an ad God sets aside a small thimble-full of beer for you in heaven, so get clicking so you don't go thirsty in the hereafter.
And don't forget to click on the Google ad links. Each time you click on an ad God sets aside a small thimble-full of beer for you in heaven, so get clicking so you don't go thirsty in the hereafter.
Rugby News Roundup
I'm not normally one to bring down the tone of these pages by writing about actual rugby, but a number of stories have peaked my interest in the past couple of days, so in case you missed them, I thought I'd give you a little recap here, at the only site you ever go to.
No longer a reason to be fat?
In one of his recent columns for the Guardian, Welsh rugby pundit Eddie Butler has suggested that the whole concept of the scrum is under review by no-less eminent bodies than the RFU and the IRB, given a recent rash of spinal injuries. Eddie envisages pointless scrums, a la rugby league, and squads made entirely of "generic 6ft 1in protein guzzlers" ready to beat the crap out of each other in open play. Well, while that might be hard to picture at our level, it might be an incentive for some of you to grow a pair of wheels and find an alternate source of protein other than cheese doodles.
Aussies suck the joy out of touring.
Given the propensity for Australians to get drunk and make arses of the themselves while playing Tri-Nations and Super 12 games in South Africa, the Wallaby management has drawn up a strict alcohol policy in an effort to reign in their boorish behavior. If they suspect you of a hangover you'll find yourself taking a breathalyzer test. Blow .02 to .05 and you can expect some disciplinary smackdown. Over .05 and you'll find yourself on the first plane home. Phew, in my day, blowing less than a .05 was cause to be sent home from a tour. How the times have changed.
However, as memory serves me correctly, Portland has never been a very strong Sunday team, so maybe there is something to reigning in your pre- (or post-)rugby alcohol consumption. My experience is that drinking before training tends to make you think you're a lot better than you actually are, and have the inverse affect on your view of those around you. Go figure...
Official: women's rugby now more important than men's.
When Brandi Chastain took her top off to celebrate victory in the most boring game of soccer ever (aka the 1999 Women's World Cup Final) the world tipped on it's axis slightly and we found ourselves in a twilight zone in which a nation's greatness was now all of a sudden measured by their performance in women's soccer. Fortunately the world has managed to right itself, largely because the U.S. women's team has done even less than the men's team since then, but brace yourself for another seismic shift - the U.S. women's rugby team recently brought down Ireland in Women's Rugby World Cup currently taking place in Edmonton, Canada. If the U.S. continue their streak and are able to beat the Australian Wallaroos tomorrow in the final round of pool matches, the hysteria will know no bounds. You can expect all USA Rugby funding to be diverted immediately to the L'Oreal School for Women's Rugby Excellence. There, I said it.
Of course, the U.S. did lose their opening round game to England, which seems to have created a short circuit in my chauvinism relay. Must...resist...can't watch...England's next game...vs...OMG...France!
Come on you beautiful English roses!
Wolfhounds to play rugby for "The Man"?
After having turned their noses up at the idea of playing rugby in the Super League for several years, it appears as though the BIW have scraped together the cash to play up in the Bigs, starting in 2007 . My sources tell me that it takes a fair amount of scratch to play in the Super League, but given that they and the other SL newcomer (and National D1 champs) Santa Monica arguably represent a better standard of rugby, my guess is that the powers that be were able to cut them some kind of deal in order to expand the happy rugby-elite family. All very cozy I'm sure, but I can't help feel a pang of regret to see the Wolfhounds cross over to the dark side having made a joke of the SL for so long. I'm sure they have their reason.
This also begs the question of what kind of reshuffle will be in store for the BIW teams. Will they sport a SL, D1 and D3 lineup similar to Old Blue? If their bleating from previous years is anything to go by, that sounds as though it might be a bit of a stretch, but I'm sure their success last year didn't hurt recruitment any and their cup runneth over with fresh young talent. Good luck to them and their new CIPP headaches.
Practice for the rest of us will be tonight, at Douglas Street, 6pm.
Carry on.
No longer a reason to be fat?
In one of his recent columns for the Guardian, Welsh rugby pundit Eddie Butler has suggested that the whole concept of the scrum is under review by no-less eminent bodies than the RFU and the IRB, given a recent rash of spinal injuries. Eddie envisages pointless scrums, a la rugby league, and squads made entirely of "generic 6ft 1in protein guzzlers" ready to beat the crap out of each other in open play. Well, while that might be hard to picture at our level, it might be an incentive for some of you to grow a pair of wheels and find an alternate source of protein other than cheese doodles.
Aussies suck the joy out of touring.
Given the propensity for Australians to get drunk and make arses of the themselves while playing Tri-Nations and Super 12 games in South Africa, the Wallaby management has drawn up a strict alcohol policy in an effort to reign in their boorish behavior. If they suspect you of a hangover you'll find yourself taking a breathalyzer test. Blow .02 to .05 and you can expect some disciplinary smackdown. Over .05 and you'll find yourself on the first plane home. Phew, in my day, blowing less than a .05 was cause to be sent home from a tour. How the times have changed.
However, as memory serves me correctly, Portland has never been a very strong Sunday team, so maybe there is something to reigning in your pre- (or post-)rugby alcohol consumption. My experience is that drinking before training tends to make you think you're a lot better than you actually are, and have the inverse affect on your view of those around you. Go figure...
Official: women's rugby now more important than men's.
When Brandi Chastain took her top off to celebrate victory in the most boring game of soccer ever (aka the 1999 Women's World Cup Final) the world tipped on it's axis slightly and we found ourselves in a twilight zone in which a nation's greatness was now all of a sudden measured by their performance in women's soccer. Fortunately the world has managed to right itself, largely because the U.S. women's team has done even less than the men's team since then, but brace yourself for another seismic shift - the U.S. women's rugby team recently brought down Ireland in Women's Rugby World Cup currently taking place in Edmonton, Canada. If the U.S. continue their streak and are able to beat the Australian Wallaroos tomorrow in the final round of pool matches, the hysteria will know no bounds. You can expect all USA Rugby funding to be diverted immediately to the L'Oreal School for Women's Rugby Excellence. There, I said it.
Of course, the U.S. did lose their opening round game to England, which seems to have created a short circuit in my chauvinism relay. Must...resist...can't watch...England's next game...vs...OMG...France!
Come on you beautiful English roses!
Wolfhounds to play rugby for "The Man"?
After having turned their noses up at the idea of playing rugby in the Super League for several years, it appears as though the BIW have scraped together the cash to play up in the Bigs, starting in 2007 . My sources tell me that it takes a fair amount of scratch to play in the Super League, but given that they and the other SL newcomer (and National D1 champs) Santa Monica arguably represent a better standard of rugby, my guess is that the powers that be were able to cut them some kind of deal in order to expand the happy rugby-elite family. All very cozy I'm sure, but I can't help feel a pang of regret to see the Wolfhounds cross over to the dark side having made a joke of the SL for so long. I'm sure they have their reason.
This also begs the question of what kind of reshuffle will be in store for the BIW teams. Will they sport a SL, D1 and D3 lineup similar to Old Blue? If their bleating from previous years is anything to go by, that sounds as though it might be a bit of a stretch, but I'm sure their success last year didn't hurt recruitment any and their cup runneth over with fresh young talent. Good luck to them and their new CIPP headaches.
Practice for the rest of us will be tonight, at Douglas Street, 6pm.
Carry on.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Return of the Evil Empire
Hey, I'm not one to upset the balance of the Force, but after several years of peace in the universe (and several "friendly" fixtures) some might say that darkness may be descending upon us once again, as we kick off the league season with a home fixture against the Evil Empire this coming Saturday.
There a those "peaceniks" who would say that comparing Old Gold to the evil Sith rulers of the galaxy is a little harsh. Well that's what they said on Alderaan. You be the judge:
Black uniforms
A scrum half called R2
A home field crappier than the Dune Seas of Tatooine
Certain members resemble Jabba the Hut
They, erm...live in a Death Star
OK, maybe that last one isn't true, probably, but everyone loves a flimsy Star Wars analogy right? In recent years, while Portland has been plying it's trade in the outer rim of NERFU, Old Gold has been enjoying the cosy atmosphere of D2, and no doubt growing complacent and exposing their thermal exhaust ports.
So if you want to make sure your moisture farm doesn't get ransacked by Storm Troopers and your nether regions don't get carbon frozen, stop kissing your sister and get yourselves to practice both nights this week. Tuesday and Thursday, 6pm at Douglas Street.
Do, or do not, there is no "try".
There a those "peaceniks" who would say that comparing Old Gold to the evil Sith rulers of the galaxy is a little harsh. Well that's what they said on Alderaan. You be the judge:
Black uniforms
A scrum half called R2
A home field crappier than the Dune Seas of Tatooine
Certain members resemble Jabba the Hut
They, erm...live in a Death Star
OK, maybe that last one isn't true, probably, but everyone loves a flimsy Star Wars analogy right? In recent years, while Portland has been plying it's trade in the outer rim of NERFU, Old Gold has been enjoying the cosy atmosphere of D2, and no doubt growing complacent and exposing their thermal exhaust ports.
So if you want to make sure your moisture farm doesn't get ransacked by Storm Troopers and your nether regions don't get carbon frozen, stop kissing your sister and get yourselves to practice both nights this week. Tuesday and Thursday, 6pm at Douglas Street.
Do, or do not, there is no "try".
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Lessons from the Gamekeeper
Have you ever wondered why you give away so many penalties?
I have (wondered about you that is, not me).
So it turns out there are actually some rules, and that bloke running around with that different colored shirt on and blowing the whistle...well, that's his job to tell us what all those rules are all about...oh, and to give lectures whenever someone from Portland does something in the slightest bit wrong.
If you've ever wondered what it is that you say that riles a ref so much, or why you never seem to kick through the mark properly, then Skip Chase will be sharing his wisdom with us at practice on August 31st and September 21st. If you have burning questions, or just want to know what makes a ref tick, come on out and find out.
Skip does have a bit of an ulterior motive, in that he's looking for a few like-minded citizens who might desire to do a bit of reffing themselves. So, if you're maybe coming to the end of your playing career, or if you're just the kind of chap who likes to get sworn at on the weekends; well maybe this could be your next calling.
So come on all you Poachers, a little Gamekeeping knowledge could come in handy someday, and besides...we always need someone to ref the B game.
I have (wondered about you that is, not me).
So it turns out there are actually some rules, and that bloke running around with that different colored shirt on and blowing the whistle...well, that's his job to tell us what all those rules are all about...oh, and to give lectures whenever someone from Portland does something in the slightest bit wrong.
If you've ever wondered what it is that you say that riles a ref so much, or why you never seem to kick through the mark properly, then Skip Chase will be sharing his wisdom with us at practice on August 31st and September 21st. If you have burning questions, or just want to know what makes a ref tick, come on out and find out.
Skip does have a bit of an ulterior motive, in that he's looking for a few like-minded citizens who might desire to do a bit of reffing themselves. So, if you're maybe coming to the end of your playing career, or if you're just the kind of chap who likes to get sworn at on the weekends; well maybe this could be your next calling.
So come on all you Poachers, a little Gamekeeping knowledge could come in handy someday, and besides...we always need someone to ref the B game.
Monday, August 21, 2006
'skeag low down
This Saturday's match against Amoskeag was what your parents might have described to you as "character building", just like those beating they used to give you behind the woodshed. To be fair, this outing wasn't quite as one-sided as that, but the visiting side was able to expose some, ahem..."areas for improvement" over the coming weeks.
As is usually the case with early season fixtures, pleas for the Portland faithful to get on-board fell on deaf ears, so while at least in the pack we enjoyed some depth, the backs weren't quite as plentiful. As a result, while the pack may arguably be able to claim a draw with the Amoskeag pack, gaps in the backline were exposed repeatedly by a well-drilled and experienced opposition. Of course, to be fair, we can all share the blame for that, given that our out-of-shape pack managed to spend too much time congregating at the breakdown and not enough time covering across in defense. As we all know, once that oxygen supply to the brain gets short, a forward's decision-making ability becomes severely impaired and is usually superseded by the instinct to lean in to the nearest ruck and "look busy".
At least the oxygen supply is something that can be improved, either at the gym, or better still by coming to training.
The scoreline, whatever it was, was pretty lopsided, although not without a little resistance from the home side. Jerry and yours truly hooked up twice to prove that old dogs and their old tricks still work sometimes.
In the end the ref pulled up lame in the third period and nobody complained when the match was brought to an early conclusion. Plenty to learn from on the day, and still a ways to go before the first league fixture.
Special thanks go to Matt Boyer, who donned the red and white for the last time before he moves back to Chicago at the end of the month. Matt has been with the club long enough to father a couple of children, and unlike some of our other alumni, he'll actually be taking them with him when he leaves. Good luck Matt. Give us a call whenever you're in town.
Training (and games) are now moving to Douglas Street (park on St. James St.), directions for which can be found here. The fun continues this Tuesday, 6pm.
As is usually the case with early season fixtures, pleas for the Portland faithful to get on-board fell on deaf ears, so while at least in the pack we enjoyed some depth, the backs weren't quite as plentiful. As a result, while the pack may arguably be able to claim a draw with the Amoskeag pack, gaps in the backline were exposed repeatedly by a well-drilled and experienced opposition. Of course, to be fair, we can all share the blame for that, given that our out-of-shape pack managed to spend too much time congregating at the breakdown and not enough time covering across in defense. As we all know, once that oxygen supply to the brain gets short, a forward's decision-making ability becomes severely impaired and is usually superseded by the instinct to lean in to the nearest ruck and "look busy".
At least the oxygen supply is something that can be improved, either at the gym, or better still by coming to training.
The scoreline, whatever it was, was pretty lopsided, although not without a little resistance from the home side. Jerry and yours truly hooked up twice to prove that old dogs and their old tricks still work sometimes.
In the end the ref pulled up lame in the third period and nobody complained when the match was brought to an early conclusion. Plenty to learn from on the day, and still a ways to go before the first league fixture.
Special thanks go to Matt Boyer, who donned the red and white for the last time before he moves back to Chicago at the end of the month. Matt has been with the club long enough to father a couple of children, and unlike some of our other alumni, he'll actually be taking them with him when he leaves. Good luck Matt. Give us a call whenever you're in town.
Training (and games) are now moving to Douglas Street (park on St. James St.), directions for which can be found here. The fun continues this Tuesday, 6pm.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Portland hosts Amoskeag this Saturday
Alright ladies, Saturday kicks it all off again with a home fixture against Amoskeag. KO is at 1:00 pm, and all those hoping to play should be at Fox Street somewhere in the neighborhood of 11:30 so we can see what we're working with.
A reminder that this is an flexible-format game, with "three halves", so there's ample room for substitutions, and extra players will be welcome on what promises to be a hot day. So, if you've been hiding yourself away, now's the time to get out of your hole and surrender yourself to the joys of rugby again. That offer also extends to Stripers or Leviathan-ers with time on their hands and looking for a run around - you are more than welcome to join in the fun.
See you Saturday.
A reminder that this is an flexible-format game, with "three halves", so there's ample room for substitutions, and extra players will be welcome on what promises to be a hot day. So, if you've been hiding yourself away, now's the time to get out of your hole and surrender yourself to the joys of rugby again. That offer also extends to Stripers or Leviathan-ers with time on their hands and looking for a run around - you are more than welcome to join in the fun.
See you Saturday.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Into Thin Air
Those of you who know anything about mountaineering know that it's a dangerous business. This season saw 11 deaths on Everest, the worst season since that fateful year, 1996, when 15 people failed to return from their attempt to summit. The slightest misstep in the "Death Zone" above 26,000 ft. and chances of becoming a permanent popsicle fixture on the world's highest peak are greatly increased.
Well, it looks as though our own mountaineer, Dom Tracey, has taken a little misstep of his own if the attached pictures are anything to go by. Operating at probably a little less than 26,000 ft., Dom in his own words, "Had a few pieces pull and decked" which seems to be mountaineering speak for f'ing up and landing on your head. In his typical understated manner Dom says he, "somehow managed to come out of it with a cut on my foot and a bump on my head."
Well, I've had a few bumps on my head in my time, and that sir, does not look like any bump on the head that I can recall. Neither have any of my "bumps on the head" required me to be carried away on a stretcher.
But, since Dom seems to be alive and e-mailing, it doesn't appear to be beyond the realms of good taste to have a chuckle at his expense, and thank our lucky stars that we enjoy the much safer sport of rugby.
In order for you to avoid any of these nasty non-rugby type accidents, you should spend as much time as possible at training, starting tomorrow. 6pm at Fox Street.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Boy Winch
Stop press!
My sources have revealed that this very morning a Winch-child was born unto the world, and lo, they hath layed him in a manger, and hath named him...
...well actually, they haven't named him anything just yet. At the time of going to press he was just being referred to as "Boy", "Baby", "Squirmy" or just "Hey, you".
Nice one Matt. You only had 9 months to think about it. Personally I like Tom as a boys name, or Tomasina for girls, but hey, I guess you could pick something else if you have to.
How about some of the other famous people born today? Well, there's The Edge for starters. That's pretty cool, but a little tough to carry off in Elementary School.
No? What about Emiliano, after the famous Mexican revolutionary Emiliano Zapata? He don't need no steenkin' badges. OK, then it has to be Dino (De Laurentiis), famed producer of Serpico, Death Wish and Three Days of the Condor.
Don't like any of those? Well my last offers are Millhouse, after Nixon, who resigned on this day in 1974; Krishnadeva Reya, Emporer of the Vijayanagara Empire, crowned this day 1509; or Spiro (Agnew), who denied taking kickbacks on Aug 8, 1973.
So, tons to choose from Matt. Failing that, maybe our trusty readers could post their suggestions in the comments below.
My sources have revealed that this very morning a Winch-child was born unto the world, and lo, they hath layed him in a manger, and hath named him...
...well actually, they haven't named him anything just yet. At the time of going to press he was just being referred to as "Boy", "Baby", "Squirmy" or just "Hey, you".
Nice one Matt. You only had 9 months to think about it. Personally I like Tom as a boys name, or Tomasina for girls, but hey, I guess you could pick something else if you have to.
How about some of the other famous people born today? Well, there's The Edge for starters. That's pretty cool, but a little tough to carry off in Elementary School.
No? What about Emiliano, after the famous Mexican revolutionary Emiliano Zapata? He don't need no steenkin' badges. OK, then it has to be Dino (De Laurentiis), famed producer of Serpico, Death Wish and Three Days of the Condor.
Don't like any of those? Well my last offers are Millhouse, after Nixon, who resigned on this day in 1974; Krishnadeva Reya, Emporer of the Vijayanagara Empire, crowned this day 1509; or Spiro (Agnew), who denied taking kickbacks on Aug 8, 1973.
So, tons to choose from Matt. Failing that, maybe our trusty readers could post their suggestions in the comments below.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
New Fixture Added
In an effort to line up some live rugby before the start of the season, we've added a warm up game against Amoskeag for the 19th. The format will be pretty loose with plenty of chance for subs, to make sure everyone gets some playing time.
See you at practice on Tuesday!
See you at practice on Tuesday!
Friday, August 04, 2006
Paartay(s)!
If you're the kind of guy or gal who likes to spend their weekends drinking and making a fool of yourself, then this weekend was custom built for you.
Saturday promises not one, but two opportunities to get your drunk on, and the only hard part might be deciding where to get kicked out of first. Here's the deets:
Firstly the Ed-meister commands your presence at a PRFC Social at the Pier in O.O.B., with 3pm being the appointed hour. Apparently $20 get's you a bracelet (...and $30 gets you a reach around [rim shot!]), and with that bracelet you are admitted to all of the...ahem, "entertainment". A quick check on the Pier's website, and it looks like you can expect to see big names "Yo! Adrian" and "Pushboxx" at the Pier Patio Pub, "Heidi Jo Hanson" at Hooligan's Landing, "Joyeoke" on the Sunset Deck and "DJ Huss" at Big Kahuna's.
Your cup truely runeth over! Ed also promises some amount of free beer and "alcoholic folly" until the money runs out. Presumably aroung 3:30.
Well, if you can tear yourself away from all that public disorder, Liz Adams of the women's team tells me she's having a party and you're all invited.
Yes, that's right, all of you. Every last one of you who's ever visited this site. She's got a full keg of Miller Lite and half a keg of Shipyard Export, so I figure that's about a thimble-full of beer for each of you.
But wait, Liz didn't tell me where she lives, so maybe you won't all be making it after all. A quick check on whowhere.com tells me there are several Liz Adamses to choose from, so have fun with that.
Anyway, Liz writes that she is turning "officially 25" and presumably she was unoficially 25 before that and just received her certificate of "twenty-fiveiness", or was just plain old officially 24. I can't tell. She didn't say.
Either way, she's very excited about it, and would love to share some of that. "WOOHOO!!" she writes, just like that, in all caps, as if to demonstrate here level of excitement. Sounds like fun, and it all starts at 5pm and will be "going well in to the evening!!!" With that many exclamation points, how can you resist?
Saturday promises not one, but two opportunities to get your drunk on, and the only hard part might be deciding where to get kicked out of first. Here's the deets:
Firstly the Ed-meister commands your presence at a PRFC Social at the Pier in O.O.B., with 3pm being the appointed hour. Apparently $20 get's you a bracelet (...and $30 gets you a reach around [rim shot!]), and with that bracelet you are admitted to all of the...ahem, "entertainment". A quick check on the Pier's website, and it looks like you can expect to see big names "Yo! Adrian" and "Pushboxx" at the Pier Patio Pub, "Heidi Jo Hanson" at Hooligan's Landing, "Joyeoke" on the Sunset Deck and "DJ Huss" at Big Kahuna's.
Your cup truely runeth over! Ed also promises some amount of free beer and "alcoholic folly" until the money runs out. Presumably aroung 3:30.
Well, if you can tear yourself away from all that public disorder, Liz Adams of the women's team tells me she's having a party and you're all invited.
Yes, that's right, all of you. Every last one of you who's ever visited this site. She's got a full keg of Miller Lite and half a keg of Shipyard Export, so I figure that's about a thimble-full of beer for each of you.
But wait, Liz didn't tell me where she lives, so maybe you won't all be making it after all. A quick check on whowhere.com tells me there are several Liz Adamses to choose from, so have fun with that.
Anyway, Liz writes that she is turning "officially 25" and presumably she was unoficially 25 before that and just received her certificate of "twenty-fiveiness", or was just plain old officially 24. I can't tell. She didn't say.
Either way, she's very excited about it, and would love to share some of that. "WOOHOO!!" she writes, just like that, in all caps, as if to demonstrate here level of excitement. Sounds like fun, and it all starts at 5pm and will be "going well in to the evening!!!" With that many exclamation points, how can you resist?
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Woooweee! It's Practice!
Doesn't it seem like only yesterday that we were yelling and screaming at each other in the sweltering heat of Attitash? And it seems like only a few days before that when we were freezing our nuts off in Newport. I'm sure for many of you the memories are all too vivid, and have yet to be turned in to fond recollections by forgetfulness or the passing of time.
You:"Remember that time we went to Syracuse?"
Me:"Ugh, don't remind me"
Well gird your loins fellas, 'cos the craziness is about to kick off all over again. Next week we'll begin the process of getting in mental and physical shape for the Fall season by re-instating Tuesday / Thursday practices at Fox Street from 6pm to 8pm. The intent is to devote Tuesdays primarily to fitness and Thursdays to skills, so if you're forced to choose between the two, keep your own particular shortcomings in mind. Of course, if you want my opinion (and that of the rest of your teammates, who talk about you behind your back), you definitely need to be at both.
We plan to have Barbara Lisa reprise her role as Fitness Coach, so those of you with a hard-on for her particular brand of sadism should form an orderly queue, and plan on throwing up at least once. Talk to those guys who worked out with her in the Winter, and they'll tell you that she does a body good.
Of course, no amount of flogging by Barb one night a week is going to get you in the kind of shape you really need to be in, so put down the hot dog, step away from the grill, and go dust of your gym shorts tubby. Honestly, look at yourself.
You:"Remember that time we went to Syracuse?"
Me:"Ugh, don't remind me"
Well gird your loins fellas, 'cos the craziness is about to kick off all over again. Next week we'll begin the process of getting in mental and physical shape for the Fall season by re-instating Tuesday / Thursday practices at Fox Street from 6pm to 8pm. The intent is to devote Tuesdays primarily to fitness and Thursdays to skills, so if you're forced to choose between the two, keep your own particular shortcomings in mind. Of course, if you want my opinion (and that of the rest of your teammates, who talk about you behind your back), you definitely need to be at both.
We plan to have Barbara Lisa reprise her role as Fitness Coach, so those of you with a hard-on for her particular brand of sadism should form an orderly queue, and plan on throwing up at least once. Talk to those guys who worked out with her in the Winter, and they'll tell you that she does a body good.
Of course, no amount of flogging by Barb one night a week is going to get you in the kind of shape you really need to be in, so put down the hot dog, step away from the grill, and go dust of your gym shorts tubby. Honestly, look at yourself.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Temple Expansion
You may of noticed in the comments that Jimmy Temple has added another baby to his collection, and it would be remiss of me not to give him a mention.
Yeah, only Jim says it was in February, and now, it's like, July, and he doesn't tell me what day, so I can't look up all the fun facts in my Bumper Book of Knowledge (Junior Edition). Curses!
He does say that he's called Hunter James, and presumably that's his name rather than his occupation.
Wait a minute...
Hunter J. Temple...Hunter S. Thompson...was this by accident or design? Hmmm...someone's a big fan of the gonzo journo style me-thinks. Well, "buy the ticket, take the ride" as the man himself would have said, and let's hope the ending is a lot happier.
Mahalo Hunter.
Fear and Loathing In...[insert your comment here.]
Yeah, only Jim says it was in February, and now, it's like, July, and he doesn't tell me what day, so I can't look up all the fun facts in my Bumper Book of Knowledge (Junior Edition). Curses!
He does say that he's called Hunter James, and presumably that's his name rather than his occupation.
Wait a minute...
Hunter J. Temple...Hunter S. Thompson...was this by accident or design? Hmmm...someone's a big fan of the gonzo journo style me-thinks. Well, "buy the ticket, take the ride" as the man himself would have said, and let's hope the ending is a lot happier.
Mahalo Hunter.
Fear and Loathing In...[insert your comment here.]
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Trojans, right cancelled eh.
No doubt too many of their players are oot and aboot or they ran out of Loonies, so the Trojans from St. John have had to cancel their planned tour of Portland. So, no games that weekend.
Darn...it was probably going to be 100 degrees anyway.
So that's another weekend in the hammock then. But fair warning, Fall team training is right around the corner. August 8th to be precise, and like prodigal sons, we'll be returning to Fox Street, after our many months in the wilderness.
Stay tuned for more details.
Darn...it was probably going to be 100 degrees anyway.
So that's another weekend in the hammock then. But fair warning, Fall team training is right around the corner. August 8th to be precise, and like prodigal sons, we'll be returning to Fox Street, after our many months in the wilderness.
Stay tuned for more details.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Acton Tenors
Website activity is down since I'm actaully on vaction, so in my absence, here's Ed with an account of last weekend's fun at Acton, published here verbatim for your amusement. Cheers Ed!
With true P.R.F.C. style most of our team arrived two or three minutes before our 1st game with New Haven.
We lost 10-15 against the fairly well matched side, they had depth in numbers, (which would become the
theme of the day,) and were able to introduce a few fresh sets of legs and some peile-esque [Is that Pele Ed.?] moves at half
time that overwhelmed us. Having run from the cars, to the kit, and to the field, with no warm up or rehersals, we did a fairly good job of it, despite our loss.
Next we tackled Seacoast, and, having some time to discuss strategies and warm up a bit, we shut them out 15-0. all the teams in our bracket won a game and lost one game, and somehow we managed to take the top seat in our bracket. So it was a quick dip in the pond, (a slight altercation with the life guard) and off to face NorthEastern.
Like our earlier opponents, NorthEastern – who arrived on their cushie tour bus, had numbers enough to put two full sides on the field. With unlimited subs, they freshened up their ten often, while we could only swap in one sub. All eleven of us played hard and well, but in the end NorthEastern got the better of us. Most noteworthy in this game was Evan, who, along with some superb play, continued to challenge their flyhalf - real bastard, who continually cloths-line [clothes?] and grab our players around the neck. Evan, kept his cool, and continued to run right at him, drawing penalty after penalty. After the ref had spoke to their player several times, and awarded us another penalty, Evan faked a kick and charged at him again, receiving yet another high tackle, and their player was ejected for the rest of the match.
Its difficult to single anyone out, as all the players were exceptional. The eleven of us worked as a team, communicated well, moved seamlessly through substitutions, and switching positions while in theheat of battle. The basic field looked like this for us: daren [Devon?] hooking, he really took a beating and hungin there for us, then Francis and Tractor, each
playing superb rugby. In the second row we had Hannas [Hannes], who played like a rock star, as per usual, - he also captained the team, giving us some much needed guidance. Simon and Chris (red) swapped on and off propping with Hannas. Both of whom were like tackling machines, very solid, very reliable, not much got past them. Ryan scrummed, having to handle a lot of abuse and dirty balls [comedy overload!], but did well, and attacked weak side productively with Hannas, scoring a try at one point. Mark and Evan swapped off at fly-half and inside center. These two did excellent talking to each other, often splitting the back row to attack, and did well at directing the rest of us into effective play. Outside Jacko attacked and defended brilliantly. I played on the wing, with Chris and Simon falling back to play there as well.
I think we represented the club well, all in all. It was good to see so many young, and new to the club
members there, as opposed to the [very] old guard. We all had a good time, some good words were said by all towards this, as we gathered up our gear and headed home. Cheers to you guys that went, and to those that helped!
Ed Lutjens
With true P.R.F.C. style most of our team arrived two or three minutes before our 1st game with New Haven.
We lost 10-15 against the fairly well matched side, they had depth in numbers, (which would become the
theme of the day,) and were able to introduce a few fresh sets of legs and some peile-esque [Is that Pele Ed.?] moves at half
time that overwhelmed us. Having run from the cars, to the kit, and to the field, with no warm up or rehersals, we did a fairly good job of it, despite our loss.
Next we tackled Seacoast, and, having some time to discuss strategies and warm up a bit, we shut them out 15-0. all the teams in our bracket won a game and lost one game, and somehow we managed to take the top seat in our bracket. So it was a quick dip in the pond, (a slight altercation with the life guard) and off to face NorthEastern.
Like our earlier opponents, NorthEastern – who arrived on their cushie tour bus, had numbers enough to put two full sides on the field. With unlimited subs, they freshened up their ten often, while we could only swap in one sub. All eleven of us played hard and well, but in the end NorthEastern got the better of us. Most noteworthy in this game was Evan, who, along with some superb play, continued to challenge their flyhalf - real bastard, who continually cloths-line [clothes?] and grab our players around the neck. Evan, kept his cool, and continued to run right at him, drawing penalty after penalty. After the ref had spoke to their player several times, and awarded us another penalty, Evan faked a kick and charged at him again, receiving yet another high tackle, and their player was ejected for the rest of the match.
Its difficult to single anyone out, as all the players were exceptional. The eleven of us worked as a team, communicated well, moved seamlessly through substitutions, and switching positions while in theheat of battle. The basic field looked like this for us: daren [Devon?] hooking, he really took a beating and hungin there for us, then Francis and Tractor, each
playing superb rugby. In the second row we had Hannas [Hannes], who played like a rock star, as per usual, - he also captained the team, giving us some much needed guidance. Simon and Chris (red) swapped on and off propping with Hannas. Both of whom were like tackling machines, very solid, very reliable, not much got past them. Ryan scrummed, having to handle a lot of abuse and dirty balls [comedy overload!], but did well, and attacked weak side productively with Hannas, scoring a try at one point. Mark and Evan swapped off at fly-half and inside center. These two did excellent talking to each other, often splitting the back row to attack, and did well at directing the rest of us into effective play. Outside Jacko attacked and defended brilliantly. I played on the wing, with Chris and Simon falling back to play there as well.
I think we represented the club well, all in all. It was good to see so many young, and new to the club
members there, as opposed to the [very] old guard. We all had a good time, some good words were said by all towards this, as we gathered up our gear and headed home. Cheers to you guys that went, and to those that helped!
Ed Lutjens
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