If you thought that our coach was already an angry, young man, then this is sure to send him over the edge. On this day 990 years ago King Brian of Ireland was killed by "tree Vikings fellas" at Clontarf, which I think is a pub outside Dublin. Bloody Vikings! As a result Ireland fell in to anarchy, and some might say that it's remained that way ever since. In true Irish style, they named a pub after their dear king, Brian Boru. And, much like Ireland, it is a very dark and depressing place.

No, really....I kid because I love!

Anyway, lets win one for Brian (and coach) tomorrow. We will be facing the South Shore Anchors, who, if their roster is to be believed, have a few players to resemble the famed Irish giant, Finn mac Cumhail. We'll see about all that.

Once again I'll turn again to that famous non-Irishman, Kipling, for words of inspiration,
"For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."

Think about it.

You want something to get chippy about? I have seen the future, and it's name is "Kaguya". I think that's Japanese for "men suck" and it's the name of that mouse they created with two mums and no dad! Today mice, tomorrow sheep, and the day after that little girly-men. Well, I guess the best we can hope for is that we get to watch before we get put back in our cages at the zoo.

On a brighter note, this weekend is the 3rd Annual Maine Collegiate Rugby Championship, where some of the brightest minds in Maine come together to get concussed. Here are some approximate directions for you (go to Fairgrounds Road). This will be a veritable carnival of rugby, although arguably it will be missing the sideshow freaks and deep fried Twinkies, so you are welcome to bring your own. That action starts at 9am and runs all day, including a game for Portland Youth Rugby and our own side against South Shore Anchors. So come on out to Cumberland County Fairgrounds and revel in this celebration of higher learning and the benefits of a liberal arts degree - do you want fries with that?

Oh god, there goes my afternoon....

When I said that all "brawlers" were welcome at practice last night, I was speaking in the vernacular. Apparently some of you took me literally. Either that or you got bit in the arse by a radioactive spider.

Eighty-six years ago today Manfred von Richthofen joined the big dog-fight in the sky. The Red Baron had 80 kills to his name, making him the most prolific arial ace on either side of the Western Front. But even the baddest m.f.'s get their day, and the Baron was no exception. Shot down by an Australian gunner behind enemy lines, he ploughed a nearby field with his trademark Fokker triplane. His body was recovered by the British and buried with full military honors, but he was dead nonetheless, at the tender age of 25. Aint that Karma a bitch?

For those of you looking to gain some insight from last night, I present the following. For the rest of you, might I suggest this. Thusday at Fox Street, 6pm. Let's play nice, K?

It 's Tuesday, April 20th, 102 years to the day that Marie Curie isolated radium in her shed. 32 years later she was gone, victim to leukemia. The moral: science is bad. The only good thing we ever got from radium was that spider that bit Peter Parker and turned him in to Spiderman.

So, anyway, it's a minty fresh day, perfect for practice. All ballers, shot-callers, brawlers etc. should be at Fox Street @ 6pm. Playa-haters not welcome.

Also, I am pleased to announce that my worshipers have crowned me Grammar God, thanks to this fiendish little quiz. See if you can join me on my cloud, or must continue your puny mortal existence. Bow low down at the wrath of my split infinitive! Mwahahahahahahaha!

Oh, yeah, and I also rated the Perfect Girlfriend on this one. It's going to be a good day, sistahs!