Hat’s off to Wales for completing the Grand Slam this weekend, after a convincing win against the plucky Irish boys. Having ridden on England’s coat-tails for several months following their World Cup triumph, it is time for me to reveal my true Welsh heritage and jump on that bandwagon for a while. Cymreag dros Gymru, as my old man used to say when he got back from working in the mines. Well boys, there’ll be a welcome in the hillside for a while yet…..until they start loosing and I have to bust out my old Irish granny. But don’t worry too much, I’m never going to admit to any French relatives, no matter how good their team gets!
Of course my joy for Wales was tempered somewhat by the four new holes in my head where my wisdom teeth used to be. They had been put there just the day before by a man who had insisted that they needed to come out, even though they weren’t hurting. Had I known how much it was going to suck I might have put up a bit more of a fight, but I was lured in by the promise of Percocet and all the ice cream I could eat.
Well, as it turned out, I couldn’t eat that much ice cream, and the Percocet was a big disappointment. Having never taken anything much stronger than Nyquil, I was excited at the possibility of spending theweekend strung out on a controlled substance, while at the same time receiving sympathy from my loved ones. Well, I might be taking it wrong,but the Percocet just made want to lie down, and was about as effective in managing the pain as a shot of Baby Motrin. Strangely though I barely had enough energy to reach for the Ibuprofen before taking another four-hour
nap. Anyway, I have reserved my intake of “Daddy’s little helpers” to bedtime, and it is usually good until 3 am, when I am awoken again by the throbbing in my head. Still, that leaves me plenty of pills to sell you after each game…..
Practice will be on again this Wednesday night, in beautiful suburban Gorham. 9am to the wee small hours. Less than three weeks to the firstgame, and there are a lot of old faces still absent. It's not that I miss you or anything.
FDA Warning – Percocet is a prescription medication for the treatment of moderate-to-severe pain in adults. You should not take Percocet if you are hoping to hallucinate or do anything other than lie around on the couch all day. If you have a history of alcoholism or just popping any pill you can lay your hands on, Percocet may not be right for you. Consult a doctor, or the voices in your head before, before taking Percocet when offered to you.
Percocet can be habit forming; do not abruptly stop taking it Percocet if you have been taking it for several days. This may lead to withdrawal symptoms and sociopathic behaviour. Avoid alcohol while taking Percocet; you may spill some.
Side effects of taking Percocet can include slow, weak breathing; hyperventilation; seizures; cold, clammy skin; hot, dry skin; severe weakness or dizziness; unconsciousness; consciousness; yellowing of the skin or eyes; webbing of the feet; unusual bleeding or bruising the following day; dry mouth; a dry sense of humor; dry martini; constipation; “beer goggles”; sweating; feminine itching; unexplained pregnancy; “soiling”; decreased sex drive; decreased opportunity for sex; unemployment; scrum pox; nausea; vomiting; more nausea; narcolepsy; insomnia; megalomania; decreased finances; breast growth; hair loss.
