Nelspawn

Although he's being very shady about, rumors abound that Andy Nelson is a new father. Unlike Leo or Dan, Andy's being very tight lipped about the whole thing and deets about the birth are harder to come by than even that whole Brangelina baby deal in Nambibia. I guess we'll all just have to read about it in US Weekly like the rest of the prols.

What I have been able to glean though is that there was a lot of labor, and they ended up with a girl, and that her name is Molly. Presumably Molly Something Nelson, and presumably she weighed something when she came out and was some amount of inches long, but who the hell knows?

C'mon Andy, why so tight lipped? I, and my readers reader, need to know what percentile this baby in, since we all know there's a direct correlation between that and the size of your...well, I dunno what it means really, but people seem to care.

Anyway, after paying off a whole bunch of Nambibian security guards, I've been able to narrow down an actual birth date to June 25th, so here goes with the OTDIH stuff...

Actually, the 25th turned out to be a rather slow news day over the ages, but there were a smattering of battles, including Little Big Horn, which done for General Custer. The Cullinan Diamond was found in South Africa, representing the largest rough-cut gem quality diamond known, and naturally it was appropriated by the British, who cut it up and made a bunch of crowns and stuff with it.

The Korean War begins, Mozambique achieves independence, as do Croatia and Slovenia (though not all at the same time), Greece abolishes headshaving of military recruits, and the line item veto is declared unconstitutional.

Birthdays? Antoni Gaudi, George Orwell, Peyo (you know, the guy who invented the Smurfs), Eric Carle (Author of The Very Hungry Caterpillar, trust me Andy, you will be reading this a lot), Carly Simon, George Michael and a bunch of other nobodys.

It also happens to be Antichristmas to Satanists, and National Catfish Day (thank you President Reagan for that one).

Live long and prosper, Molly.