"Spring" Training

If you've just been growing wider on the couch it's time to have someone pry you off it and push you out the door in the direction of Howard Sports. Yes, that's right, what we jokingly refer to as "Spring Training" is starting up next week (2/5), despite the fact that a green blade of grass may not appear in the state for several more months.

In one of his first acts as President, Jerry has been able to secure us twice-weekly sessions indoors at Howard Sports in Saco, one in gym and one on turf, so there's opportunity to hone your skills as well as your chiseled physique. Specifics on the times etc. are republished below as well as a map with directions at the very bottom.

Tuesday Practices:
Location: Howard Sports in Saco, Gymnasium #2
Time: 6:45 pm to 8:30 pm
Everyone is expected to be fully kitted-up and ready to practice by 6:45 pm so we make the most of our allotted time. Don't show up late in hopes of trying to miss the fitness portion of the training, we all need to be fit to repeat NERFU.
Cost: $5 dollars a person to be collected pre-practice.
Because this is a gymnasium ensure that you have the proper footwear for practice "sneakers".

Thursday Practices:
Location: Howard Sports in Saco, Small Turf
Time: 6:45 pm to 8:00 pm
Everyone is expected to be fully kitted-up and ready to practice by 6:45 pm, being on time on Thursday is critical because we have less time at the facility.
Cost: $5 dollars a person to be collected pre-practice
Because this is turf ensure that you have the proper footwear for practice "sneakers, cleats and or turf shoes".


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New Management

At the second time of asking the club managed to muster up enough of the faithful to stage a passable AGM and determine just who is going to be running the show for the next 12 months.
Business both old and new was kept to a minimum in order to focus on the elections before the elusive majority that had assembled should disappear for fear of getting elected to something. As usual however some wringing of hands took place regarding the club finances, and the need for new and lucrative get rich schemes.

Anyway, it's just those kind of "as usual" comments that the populous has had enough of since they were in the mood for some change, and who can blame them? Throw the rascals out, I say. Whether any of the rascals could've been persuaded to stay is another matter.

The most hotly contested race of the evening was that of Captain, and after a healthy debate, Steve Stewart became the choice of the people to guide the club in its on-field activities.

Backing Steve up off the field, with 25 years experience and plenty of persuasive power, was Jerry Alves, who was elected as President.

Rounding out the Exec., and making up in enthusiasm for what they may lack in experience, were Ryan Facey and Derik Hammond at the positions of Treasurer and Secretary respectively.

Congratulations to all the new officers. May their coffers runeth over, their fixture lists be full, and their days (and nights) be free from drama and intrigue. Good luck with that last one. This is Portland after all.

News of winter training plans should be issuing forth from the new team very shortly. Watch this space....

Clear the Decks - Banquet Date, Location, Price Set

That's right. If getting humilitated on the message board isn't giving you the same thrill as having your shortcomings exposed in public, then your torment is over. That end-of-year folly we we loosely call a banquet has been scheduled, so all you have to do is dust off your date and learn some table manners, and you can be actin' all civilized-like.

Saturday, December 1st has been set aside for the occaision, with the festivities kicking-off at the Eagles Club at 4pm.

Yes, that's right kiddies, 4 o-freakin'-clock in the effin' afternoon. What's that all about? Some of you are barely awake by then!
So thanks to the early start things should be all wrapped up by 9pm, at which time the Eagles should be calling johnny-law, and you'll be home in time to pass out before the kids are even in bed. WTFWJDBBQ?

Where's the Eagles Club at then? Well, it's here, of course.

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You know, the funny thing is they even call it an Aerie, like they were real eagles or something. Caw! Caw!...or whatever it is eagles say.

So, the only thing remaining is to inform you of the cost for getting to eat your dinner in the middle of the day. Well, that would be $30 per head actually, for a slap-up afternoon tea, and presumably some quantity of Gritty's. Gay mixed drinks will be coming out of your own pocket I'm afraid.

Since the prospect of you actually showing up on the night with $60 plus drinking money seems highly unlikely to me, I've taken the liberty of giving you an easy way out in the form of the PayPal button below. Go get your mum's credit card and tell her that all the other kid's mums are paying for them, and that if she doesn't pay for you, you're going to go to your room and cry until you make yourself sick. K?

So, that's about it. All that's left is to remind you that 4pm is REALLY EARLY!

Why, Dan...why??

Portland stumbles, then stumbles some more

After a promising start to the season the bye week seemed to have interfered with Portland's mo-jo as first one wheel, then another has come off their playoff campaign. With one week left to go, post-season play is still a mathematical possibility, but our destiny lies as much in the hands of others as our own.

Having been previously indefatigable at home, Portland took their first misstep by failing to capitalize on their territorial advantage against Hartford, and then yielding a succession of penalties towards the end that allowed the visitors to put the game out of reach. Both tackling and decision making were poor, while a lively Hartford pack made every ruck and maul a hard fought contest.

Despite some extended periods in the opposition half Portland failed to turn the screw, and on most occasions Hartford were able to respond with 40+ yard breakaways to relieve the pressure. Hartford had the better of the try count 2-1, and both sides racked up three penalty kicks each. Portland got theirs early, to keep them in contention despite the failure to convert pressure in to tries, but Hartford got theirs late, when they needed them most, to help put some daylight between themselves and the hosts. Final score, Portland 16 - Hartford 23. 1 point for the near miss.

A week later Portland took the long trip to Burlington only to suffer a similar fate, coughing up too much ball in contact, which the host side was able to put away to their advantage. Overnight rain made for slippery conditions on an otherwise perfect rugby facility, and handling errors were to be frequent throughout the match.

Burlington struck first, taking advantage of players still shaking off the fog of 4 1/2 hours on the road. For the first quarter Portland struggled to get out of their own half, but held their own in the set piece and managed to prevent any further points being scored.

After a converted Burlington penalty, Portland eventually found themselves in the opposition half, giving them the opportunity to swing the ball wide through their backs, and despite coming up short of the line, the forwards were able to finish the move with a series of quick rucks.

Portland soon scored again, but this time it was all forwards, as they dominated a 5-meter scrum; stopping just short of a full pushover, but getting close enough to crash over from a quick pickup at the back. Both tries were unconverted, but it gave Portland a slender 10-8 lead going in to the half.

Burlington soon wrested back the momentum, striking back early in the second half with a quick move to their backs. Within several minutes they were at it again, pouncing on a ball fly hacked through our advancing defense. Both kicks were missed, but Burlington now held a 18-10 lead.

Portland came back with a drop goal from Evan Harding and another try of their own, and for a while the game hung in the balance at 18-18. Burlington were to have the last word however, after stealing the ball at a lineout and working it quickly wide and breaking several tackles to send their winger over in the corner. The conversion was made, and the scoreline moved to 25-18. That's how it stayed for the last 10 minutes despite some near misses by both sides. Another solitary consilation point for the close loss.

On both these occaisions the B side were able to win their own contests and add a silver lining to the otherwise gloomy score sheet. The B's continue to put in strong performances, thanks in large part to the numbers of new players that have been turning out each week. Sprinkle that group with a handful of wiley veterans and you have the making of a good side, and a great breeding ground for Portland's future talent.

Portland's final game of the season will be away to Newport and will feature the second fixture of the year for Portland's "new" old boys side. A bus has been laid on for the event and $30 will get you a seat on it plus some refreshments. Any old boys looking to get a run in before the weekend can find us at Memorial Field on Tuesday (7-9) and Fitzy on Thursday (7:30-9). If you'd rather conserve your energy for the day of, we understand.

River Crossed, Gold Pwned

Sorry, but things just got backed up and before you know it there are two games in the books and no match report to show for either. I'll blame the Jaeger.

Well, the good news is that they were both wins for the good guys, so you can sit back off the edge of your seat.

Going back two weeks Portland turned over Charles River at home to the tune of 35-15, with four tries to secure the bonus point. Three of those tries went to Fred Hayman, who still couldn't get MOTM and one to Byron Brinkley. Instead those MOTM honors went to Scotty Derrig. The B's also won, with a similar scoreline and MOTM honors going to Ed Lutjens.

This past week Portland made their first road trip to the gravel and grass strewn goodness that is Moakley Park in Boston. Old Gold had been having a bad run of it, and that run continued after a 31-7 victory to the visitors. In a tense first half Portland's lone try came from Steve Stewart, with a penalty from Andy Nelson giving a slender 10-7 lead. Things were to open up in the second half however, with scores for me, Matt Winch and Derik Hammond. Gareth Matthews converted a couple of these and Evan Harding the other, and that's how it all ended up, with another bonus point secured. MOTM honors went to back-from-the-dead, Dave Jackowitz.

The B's continued their own winning streak too, again with a similar lopsided result. Great performances from the new talent as well as a couple of solid ones from the veterans. Colin Dumont picked up another MOTM shot for his elusive running (and scoring), while the other scorers are encouraged to post of their feats below.

Elsewhere in the league South Shore is the only other team to sport an undefeated record, yet they continue to gift their opponents try bonus points like it's bloody Christmas! Hey, fellas, let's put a little daylight between us and them, eh?

Portland have a bye week then host Hartford on 10/13.

South Shore Stalemate

Portland and South Shore went toe to toe this past weekend but all either side had to show for it was a 7-7 draw after 80 minutes of spirited play.

Morning rain gave way to afternoon showers, yielding some slippery conditions, but that didn't deter the powerful South Shore backs from running the ball at most opportunities. After repeated forays into the Portland half this pressure eventually told when the South Shore winger broke free of a tackle just inside the Portland 22 and thus put himself clear through to score. 7-0 to the visitors, and although they continued to apply pressure for the remainder of the half they were unable to make any further breakthroughs.

Some changes at the half saw Portland begin to exert some pressure of their own, which was soon rewarded with a(nother) try fo Steve Stewart, who seems to be able to squeeze through gaps most of the rest of us would get stuck in.

Most of the second half was played at a frenetic pace as both sides tried to break the stalemate. Although each had their opportunties, neither was able to convert them and so in the end things remained tied up at the final whistle. Portland moves to 1-0-1, although probably sit somewhere like 3rd place in the league thanks to a dearth of bonus points.

Fortunately the B game was to provide more in the way of scoring, and probably entertainment value also, as the enthusiastic B's looked to reverse their fortunes from the previous week.

Portland opened their account in the first half through a quick tap penalty taken by Murph (senior) that caught South Shore napping and allowed him to sneak in to the try zone. No conversion, so that was all the scoring for the first half. 5-0 in Portland's favor.

The second half saw the champagne moment of the day as another old timer, Leo Caouette, floated through the South Shore defense and evaded several tackles before eventually offloading to Brendon Gibb to finish the move. 10-0 Portland.

Finally, Mr. Highstepper himself, Tractor, bullied his way into the end zone for one more score. This time Matt Winch's conversion was good, bringing Portland's total to 17. South Shore on the other hand, most of whom were playing their second game of the day, just seemed glad to get it over with, so that's how it ended up.

MOTM honors for the first game went to Evan Harding and his new kicking boots, while honors for the second game went to Leo and his dancing slippers.

Portland host Charles River this Saturday, at Dougherty Field again, 1pm.