Retail Expansion

So, remember that "cool new feature" I mentioned in the last post? Well now's your chance to see what passes as "cool" to a geek like me.

Having spent most of the season bleeding money while trying to get you lot suitably attired, I figured it was time to take a load off (Sally) and let someone else share in the pleasure of doing business with you. That's why I'm relieved pleased to unveil the new online Portland Rugby Shop. It's your own little shopping mall where you can buy all kinds of shiny things that have something to do with the club or with the sport of rugby in general.

True, we're not the first club to ever come up with such a thing, but I like to think that like most other things we touch, we've done it bigger and better than anyone else. Just click on the button below and see for yourself.

Technically speaking it is still a Beta test, since I didn't really discuss what people might like to buy with anyone other than the voices in my head. As a result I just came up with some designs and slapped them on products in a mostly arbitrary way. So, if there's some combination of design and product that you don't see, just let me know and I can probably accommodate it.

I should also point out that as you exercise your credit card for a little retail-therapy, you are also giving back to the club. The slimmest of margins has been built in to each product, so that over several thousand years we may accumulate enough to buy that dream field we've always had our eyes on, but will most likely be used to post your bail instead. So tell your friends, tell your families...hell, even tell other clubs. Every little helps. While there's plenty of stuff on there to satisfy your burning, obsessive love for the Portland Rugby Club, there's also some less "Portlandy" stuff on there that might have a broader appeal. However, each and every design carries a subtle reminder of its origin, which hopefully drives even more traffic back to the site, and round it all goes again.

Other than that, come on in, take a look around, and remember if you break it, you buy it.

Rugby Snuff Movie

I'm publishing this video with the kind permission of the er...victim, who as we all know lived to play another day and has gone on to live a happy and fulfilling life. Well, a happy one at least. It is a salutary lesson that rugby is still very much a contact sport, and bad things do happen to good people.

Unfortunately the quality of this clip is a little sketchy, but so long as you can hear the audio portion you should be all set. But be warned, what you are about to see (or hear) is not for the faint of heart. Small children, those taking heart medication or people of a weak disposition should move on to something a little more gentle. I've watched it a hundred times and it still turns my stomach.

Still willing to watch? OK, then let me set the scene for you.

The year is 2001. It's the very first weekend after 9/11 and sporting events across the country have been cancelled out of respect. Indeed, some say that this game should never have been played, but probably because nobody fancied a make-up game in the middle of November the whole league played on. After a minute silence, Portland kicked off a spirited encounter with Providence at their old ground in the East Providence hood.

The first half is drawing to a close, and after winning a lineout Portland elects to spin the ball along their backline in an attempt to break out of their 22. The ball reaches the outside center, Jason Willey, who sees nothing outside him and elects to cut back inside. Then the sound speaks for itself. Just listen...



Something like the sound of a small tree being snapped in two, and then the screaming begins. Fortunately the tape cuts off there. The reality of what had happened is that Jason had shattered his ankle completely, and only socks and skin were holding his foot on.

Cut to Portland in the huddle, no doubt seeking words of encouragement for each other after witnessing this gruesome injury. The huddle breaks up, and the players disperse, their head held low. But wait...what's this? They seem to be spreading back out across the pitch. They're actually going to play the second half. For the love of God, what has to happen for a match to be abandonned? As the players take their position they make room for the ambulance to get off the field before Dom tees up the ball to get things started again, like lambs to the slaughter.

The moral of the story? I'm not sure that there is one, but I'll leave it up to your fevered imaginations to comment a few below.

Also, since this post is sure to get some decent play, I'm going to use this opportunity to put in a shameless plug for you to check back to the site on Thursday for a new feature we'll be adding to the site. All should be revealed sometime before lunch.

Did you vote yet?

Just a reminder that the banquet is coming up this Saturday, so I expect to see you all their in your finery.

Part of the reason for having the banquet is to recognize those who made an outstanding contribution to the club both on and off the field. Since it's always difficult to be certain that we've e-mailed everyone in the club, this is just another gentle reminder to get your votes in to Jerry McQueeney as soon as possible.

In case you didn't know, the categories up for grabs are:

Most Valuable Player
Most Improved Player
Biggest Contribution to the Club

Hit Jerry up here with your votes as soon as possible so he has time to put your name on the huge trophy.

Thank-you.

Coat Check Payola

While the rest of the club was draining the funds last weekend, a select few were hard at work earning us some cash at the Brewfest coat check. I won't go in to specific amounts lest you think that the club is all of a sudden flush with cash and that you need to find something to spend it on, but lets just say it was a tidy little sum that we desparately needed.

Since nothing says "thank-you" like a mention on the website, next time you see any of the following folks, be sure to point out to them that you saw their name on the site, and that you're grateful for their efforts. Or you could just comment that below. Give it up for:

Matt Winch
Freddy Hayman
Marcos Miller
Joe Loring
Rick Scala
Art Gaffer
Zach (from the Deli)
John Gartland
Matt Burgess
Tony Cox

Nice going lads!

How we be rollin' at the banquet

It's that time of year again.

Time to get dressed up, have a few drinks, and get all sentimental about each other.

So, kind of like a regular Saturday then, but in nicer clothes.

It all goes off at the Sheraton on the 18th, with a fine spread courtesy of J-Wil, who runs the show over there. Good food, cheap booze - he plans to show you what it means to "Belong" at the Sheraton.

The assigned hours are 5 - 10 pm, with a program that goes something like this:

5 to 6:30 - Happy Hour
6:30 to 8 - Dinner
8 to 9 - Awards, Speeches and Hilarity
9 to 10 - Wind Down

Or for those of you more familiar with the banquet:

5 to 6 - Happy Hour
6 to 7 - Happier Hour
7 to 7:30 - Happiest Half-Hour
7:30 to 8 - Over Stimulated Half-Hour
8 - Hit The Wall
8:05 to 9 - Surly & Beligerent Hour
9 to 10 - Remorseful & Crying Hour
10 on - Begging For Forgiveness

As you can imagine, such a good time doesn't come for free, but thanks to our connections we're able to pull the whole thing off for just $25 per head. "Sweet!" you say, "I'll pay you on the night". Sure, just like you paid for the bus. Well, since the club can't support your sorry ass forever, you should take this opportunity to pay up early to avoid being tipped upside down and shaken in front of your girlfriend.

Time to get yourself paid.

For those particularly high rollers amongst you, our good pal Jay has also been able to set up a special room rate for the night so that you can crash out there, rather than into a telegraph pole on the way home. Click here to be whisked to the special page for PRFC and get booking. Act quickly though - rooms are filling up fast.

So there you have it. More fun than ought to be legal for just $25. Get your skates on to secure your spot.

Nearly Men not so nearly this time

The Red Tide wrapped up its Fall league season this past weekend with the longest of road trips to Hartford. Normally you couldn't imagine a greater a greater strain on the club than a 4-hour road trip in November at the end of a losing campaign. But not so this year, with 25 guys boarding the bus in Portland with several others traveling directly. Whatever the outcome, by this measure alone I do declare the state of our union to be in robust health.

Four hours on the bus gave us plenty of time to cover all of the pressing issues of the day, including TABOR, Evangelical hypocrisy, and whether we were better off taking sides with the Aliens or the Predators. With such weighty issues to occupy our minds the trip flew by and we soon found ourselves pulling up at the very pleasant Irish Cultural Center in Glastonbury.

Despite the long ride, Portland uncharacteristically came out of the gates at a blistering pace, no doubt proving to be a bit more of a handful than Hartford was expecting. WTF Hartford, don't you read the match reports? Just because we were 1-6, it didn't mean we were going to be a pushover.

Sure enough Portland took an early lead, after piling on the pressure and stringing together some good passes to send Dan Joyce over for the first score. Andy Nelson made the tough conversion, and Portland opened a 7-point lead.

The visitors were soon at it again, this time seeing Scotty Derrig hauled down by his collar just feet short of the line and earning us a penalty try. The conversion was a formality, and before you knew what was going on Portland had a 14-0 lead. Unfamiliar territory for a side that has more often than not been giving up early points rather than scoring them.

Hartford were clearly stung to life by this early onslaught, and soon registered their first points thanks to some confusion on a goal line clearance. They soon followed up with another score, and Portland were able to cling on to a slender lead thanks only to a missed conversion from Hartford.

Portland showed some character and struck back themselves, with Jerry Alves intercepting a midfield pass and running it back for a try under the posts. With that the scoreline stood at 21-12 in Portland's favor, although it wasn't to remain that way for long as Hartford scored again on the stroke of full time, and again only that missed conversion separated the two sides.

After the break both sides traded penalties to maintain the points gap, and then tempers that had been on a low simmer all day finally boiled over and a big fight broke out. I wont incriminate anyone by speculating as to who from Hartford started it, but everyone felt the need to join in, and several sub-fights broke out across the field. Clearly the ref had no idea who started it, and even after consulting with his mentor on the sidelines, he decided that both sides were equally to blame and handed out a yellow card to the Hartford Captain (oh, the shame) and Mike DeSalle. Both had five minutes to stand under the goalposts and cool off.

Whatever the body count, Portland seemed a little shell shocked after the brawl, while the Hartford side became emboldened and began running the ball hard both in the forwards and along their backline. Injuries and inexperience began to take their toll as Portland's defense fell away, ultimately yielding 22 unanswered points in the final third of the match. A disappointing end to a game that had started with such promise.

Once again it was left to the B-side to lift our spirits, who fought their way out of a two-try hole in the first half to come back and win by a score. After seemingly being out of it at half time, the Killer B's dug deep and continued to hold on to the ball well; keeping faith in their good handling and support play. The crowning moment came with just seconds to spare when Josh fed the ball to Tractor, who broke a couple of tackles before being held up and dishing to Frenchy for the final score.

Post match honors went to Evan Harding in the A Game, for being the catalyst for our first half offense, and to Murph for his B Side performance that included his first Portland try.

After driving round in circles for an hour to find Spyder a liquor store we finally hit the road for the long trek home. Thanks to Jeff Keating as always for the musical accompaniment, which always helps the trip slip by. Thanks also to the Predators for coming back to Earth to eliminate the Alien scourge, even if only for about 175 years until that run in with the Nostromo.

But I digress.

So that closes the book on another season, and another year for Portland Rugby Club. Some recent disappointments but also plenty of highs to look back on from earlier in the year. It's been a fun time, but to paraphrase Mark Twain, the longest decade of my life was the year I spent as Portland captain. It's been an honor, and I miss you all already.

Stay tuned here for news about the banquet, other club goings-on, and of course, whatever else pops into my head.

Cheers.