Lessons from the Gamekeeper

Have you ever wondered why you give away so many penalties?

I have (wondered about you that is, not me).

So it turns out there are actually some rules, and that bloke running around with that different colored shirt on and blowing the whistle...well, that's his job to tell us what all those rules are all about...oh, and to give lectures whenever someone from Portland does something in the slightest bit wrong.

If you've ever wondered what it is that you say that riles a ref so much, or why you never seem to kick through the mark properly, then Skip Chase will be sharing his wisdom with us at practice on August 31st and September 21st. If you have burning questions, or just want to know what makes a ref tick, come on out and find out.

Skip does have a bit of an ulterior motive, in that he's looking for a few like-minded citizens who might desire to do a bit of reffing themselves. So, if you're maybe coming to the end of your playing career, or if you're just the kind of chap who likes to get sworn at on the weekends; well maybe this could be your next calling.

So come on all you Poachers, a little Gamekeeping knowledge could come in handy someday, and besides...we always need someone to ref the B game.

'skeag low down

This Saturday's match against Amoskeag was what your parents might have described to you as "character building", just like those beating they used to give you behind the woodshed. To be fair, this outing wasn't quite as one-sided as that, but the visiting side was able to expose some, ahem..."areas for improvement" over the coming weeks.

As is usually the case with early season fixtures, pleas for the Portland faithful to get on-board fell on deaf ears, so while at least in the pack we enjoyed some depth, the backs weren't quite as plentiful. As a result, while the pack may arguably be able to claim a draw with the Amoskeag pack, gaps in the backline were exposed repeatedly by a well-drilled and experienced opposition. Of course, to be fair, we can all share the blame for that, given that our out-of-shape pack managed to spend too much time congregating at the breakdown and not enough time covering across in defense. As we all know, once that oxygen supply to the brain gets short, a forward's decision-making ability becomes severely impaired and is usually superseded by the instinct to lean in to the nearest ruck and "look busy".

At least the oxygen supply is something that can be improved, either at the gym, or better still by coming to training.

The scoreline, whatever it was, was pretty lopsided, although not without a little resistance from the home side. Jerry and yours truly hooked up twice to prove that old dogs and their old tricks still work sometimes.

In the end the ref pulled up lame in the third period and nobody complained when the match was brought to an early conclusion. Plenty to learn from on the day, and still a ways to go before the first league fixture.

Special thanks go to Matt Boyer, who donned the red and white for the last time before he moves back to Chicago at the end of the month. Matt has been with the club long enough to father a couple of children, and unlike some of our other alumni, he'll actually be taking them with him when he leaves. Good luck Matt. Give us a call whenever you're in town.

Training (and games) are now moving to Douglas Street (park on St. James St.), directions for which can be found here. The fun continues this Tuesday, 6pm.

Portland hosts Amoskeag this Saturday

Alright ladies, Saturday kicks it all off again with a home fixture against Amoskeag. KO is at 1:00 pm, and all those hoping to play should be at Fox Street somewhere in the neighborhood of 11:30 so we can see what we're working with.

A reminder that this is an flexible-format game, with "three halves", so there's ample room for substitutions, and extra players will be welcome on what promises to be a hot day. So, if you've been hiding yourself away, now's the time to get out of your hole and surrender yourself to the joys of rugby again. That offer also extends to Stripers or Leviathan-ers with time on their hands and looking for a run around - you are more than welcome to join in the fun.

See you Saturday.

Into Thin Air

"Fortunately, I was able to use my head to break my fall!"
Originally uploaded by PRFC Sec..

Those of you who know anything about mountaineering know that it's a dangerous business. This season saw 11 deaths on Everest, the worst season since that fateful year, 1996, when 15 people failed to return from their attempt to summit. The slightest misstep in the "Death Zone" above 26,000 ft. and chances of becoming a permanent popsicle fixture on the world's highest peak are greatly increased.

Well, it looks as though our own mountaineer, Dom Tracey, has taken a little misstep of his own if the attached pictures are anything to go by. Operating at probably a little less than 26,000 ft., Dom in his own words, "Had a few pieces pull and decked" which seems to be mountaineering speak for f'ing up and landing on your head. In his typical understated manner Dom says he, "somehow managed to come out of it with a cut on my foot and a bump on my head."

Well, I've had a few bumps on my head in my time, and that sir, does not look like any bump on the head that I can recall. Neither have any of my "bumps on the head" required me to be carried away on a stretcher.

But, since Dom seems to be alive and e-mailing, it doesn't appear to be beyond the realms of good taste to have a chuckle at his expense, and thank our lucky stars that we enjoy the much safer sport of rugby.

In order for you to avoid any of these nasty non-rugby type accidents, you should spend as much time as possible at training, starting tomorrow. 6pm at Fox Street.

"Faster you dogs!"
Originally uploaded by PRFC Sec..

Zombie Dom
Originally uploaded by PRFC Sec..

Boy Winch

Stop press!

My sources have revealed that this very morning a Winch-child was born unto the world, and lo, they hath layed him in a manger, and hath named him...

...well actually, they haven't named him anything just yet. At the time of going to press he was just being referred to as "Boy", "Baby", "Squirmy" or just "Hey, you".

Nice one Matt. You only had 9 months to think about it. Personally I like Tom as a boys name, or Tomasina for girls, but hey, I guess you could pick something else if you have to.

How about some of the other famous people born today? Well, there's The Edge for starters. That's pretty cool, but a little tough to carry off in Elementary School.
No? What about Emiliano, after the famous Mexican revolutionary Emiliano Zapata? He don't need no steenkin' badges. OK, then it has to be Dino (De Laurentiis), famed producer of Serpico, Death Wish and Three Days of the Condor.

Don't like any of those? Well my last offers are Millhouse, after Nixon, who resigned on this day in 1974; Krishnadeva Reya, Emporer of the Vijayanagara Empire, crowned this day 1509; or Spiro (Agnew), who denied taking kickbacks on Aug 8, 1973.

So, tons to choose from Matt. Failing that, maybe our trusty readers could post their suggestions in the comments below.

New Fixture Added

In an effort to line up some live rugby before the start of the season, we've added a warm up game against Amoskeag for the 19th. The format will be pretty loose with plenty of chance for subs, to make sure everyone gets some playing time.

See you at practice on Tuesday!