Classic Gold

I'm sorry, I just can't write about the rain any more. After so many shitty, freezing, rain soaked Saturdays, I'm just flat out of adjectives. So, let me just point out that it rained again this weekend. And then it rained some more. Go figure.

So, now that's out of the way, on to something almost as reliable as rain on Saturdays - an ill tempered encounter with Old Gold. Well, to be fair, in comparison with some of the games of yore, this was a pretty tame affair, but just like Ali vs. Frazier, no Portland - Old Gold game goes off without its fair share of trash talk, yelling and finger wagging. "Thrilla in Manila"? Perhaps not. "Hissy Fit in the Hay Field" more like.

Anyway, if you really wanted a blow-by-blow account of the game by now you probably would have gone and read Old Gold's match report. Even though it's at best incoherent, you probably would have been able to glean that Portland squeaked out a narrow 18-17 victory, and despite some questionable tries scored by both sides, the dodgy reffing seemed to even itself out in the end, and the result seemed like a fair one. It's funny how OG only whines about the knock-ons, but is conspicuously silent when the ref turns a blind eye to a touch judge's flag and lets them poach a late score. Ah, how absence makes the heart grow fonder.

So that's about it on the game. Hannes snagged another man-of-the-match, so it's time to introduce some kind of handicapping system. Thanks to Portland Pie for the great pizza, and Gritty's for the beer.

Oh, and one more thing...

It turns out that NERFU has gone back on their decision to kick anyone out of D2 for the Fall, so the league expands to 9 teams, which is of course an odd number, and now means a bye week, a longer season for all, and an extra road trip for some. Fantastic - big oil wrings it's hands with delight. Of course, it was deemed that Newport had done a good rebuilding job in the off season and would have been too strong for D3. K. I bear no ill will to Newport, who are a decent bunch of lads with a good team, but am I the only one seeing the inconsistency here? I don't remember NERFU handing out such concessions when it was our turn to go down. And what about the Wolfhounds? No offence to Newport, but having been cuffed around by the 'hounds once already this year on their inexorable march to the D3 National Championship, I hardly think Newport (or any demotee from D2) is going to make D3 any more lopsided than it already is.

One of the pillars of respect is consistency.

On Deck - Old Gold

Pack up your wellies and bring them up to the Fairgrounds this Saturday for a long overdue match up with our old friends, Old Gold. There used to be a time when it seemed as though we played Old Gold every other weekend, but our diverging fortunes have sent us different directions in recent months, as we experienced life in the lower echelons and they faked their way to the top of D2 for a few weeks.

But now it looks as though our paths are converging again, not only this Saturday, but as we return to D2 for the Fall. Roll on good times in Franklin Park and whatever seedy dive they happen to drink in.

KO of the A Side game will be 1pm, just after it stops raining, with a B side game following right along after.

Portland's disappearing Act

This weekend the entire Portland squad was ravaged by a severe case of lame-excusiosis, that meant that 8 starters from the previous weekend had some "thing-with-a-thing" that they had to take care of. Couple this with a host of other no-shows, cry-offs, let-downs and general apathy and it meant that Portland could only muster 14 stalwarts for the trip down to play Boston's B side, who by definition would be those contending for a place on their Superleauge side.

Fielding a makeshift front row that included one of Boston's leftovers, we rather predictably had our arses handed to us to us to the tune of 67-7. Only a late score from Scotty Derrig on the stroke of full time allowed us to retain some shred of dignity, after having spent much of the preceding 79 minutes getting worked over by a well drilled and athletic side.

A retrospective man-of-the-match award should go to Marcos Miller for providing us with a tackling clinic, since unfortunately he had plenty of opportunity to demonstrate his skills. Thanks and credit go to all of those who made the trip down, even if it was in a futile cause. To the rest of you wasters, well...it's not fit to publish.

Rumors of a club renaissance may turn out to be grossly exaggerated if on any given weekend a few injuries and other assorted excuses mean we're no longer even able to field a full side.

Syracuse, I won't miss you

The Portland team left Maine last Friday in bright sunshine with 6-7 hours of driving ahead of them as they made for the fair city of Syracuse, and the NRU Division 3 Final 4. The pleasant weather and picturesque surroundings for much of the journey were however a cruel prelude for what was to be a weekend of mostly foul weather and the squalid Syracuse surroundings. I'm sure that Syracuse does have a nice part to it, but it was clearly not in evidence this weekend, and even if it had been, it probably would have still looked like crap in the miserable weather.

For the most part however the journey passed without event, and as the team checked in to the Dis-Comfort Suites the 65 degree weather gave no indication of what was to come. But as most of us know by now, Portland travels with its own black cloud...they just hadn't arrived yet.

The lodgings proved to be adequate, if a little overpopulated by kids and old people. Nevertheless it was off to the neighborhood western-themed steakhouse, which was doing its best to emphasize the "ugly" in Coyote Ugly. Just as well, since the Portland boys were not in need of distraction, but rather a good feed and an early night.

The following morning dawned to reveal steady rains and a 20 degree drop in temperature, indicating that the Portland weather had indeed arrived. It proved to be a long morning of pacing around as the team prepared to square off against Old Blue C-side at 2:30 that afternoon. Having talked with Hudson Valley the previous week, we knew that Old Blue was capable of producing some very different sides, depending on what that their SL and D1 side was up to on the same day.

Arriving at the field we learned that Syracuse had run the Wolfhounds close in the other semi-final but ultimately come up short. This meant that a victory would assure us with a "date with destiny" the following day. Before that however, there was the small matter of Old Blue in weather and pitch conditions which were not going to bring out the best in either team. So, as the Portland team did their best to get warm in the rain, we began to wonder where exactly Old Blue were, and whether they had been scared off by the inclement weather. It was only later that we learned that they had actually rented out an indoor facility in town for their warm up, and then hopped on their bus (complete with Park Ranger escort) to arrive pitch-side all revved up and raring to go. Oh, how the other half live...

Winning the toss, Portland elected to get the hard stuff out of the way early by playing uphill and into the wind for the first half. If we could minimize the damage, we could then use the elements to our advantage in the second half and pile on the pressure. The wisdom of this strategy looked a little questionable in the early going however, with Old Blue swinging the ball wide to their speedy wings and scoring an early try. Kicking was going to be difficult in the swampy conditions, so Portland got away with just a 5-0 deficit from the early lapse.

After the wakeup call Portland set about putting up some sort of resistance, and began tackling anything and everything that moved. This included a tackle from Jerry Alves that required him to take a "short breather" face down in the mud. Once he came-to, he was helped off the field on wobbly legs, only to return to his expletive-hurling self within a couple of minutes - much to everyone's relief.

A stalemate ensued for the remainder of the first half, with Old Blue playing a tactically naive game, as the continued to run the ball down the slope, rather than take advantage of the wind at their backs. With both sides pushing a couple of penalties wide, the scoreline remained unchanged by the time the half-time whistle blew.

With Jerry off the field, Scotty Derrig moved to scrum half and Spyder to fly half, and immediately the second half began we started launching bombs into the corners, proving that while the Old Blue wings might like to run, they looked conspicuously ill at ease under the high ball. This pressure was soon to yield results, with Fred Hayman capping of a well executed move in the corner. Shortly afterwards Hannes Bouwer broke through the Old Blue defenses at the 22 to barrel over for another score. In no time the 5-0 deficit had been turned around in to a 10-5 lead in Portland's favor.

Old Blue were not out of it however, with the introduction of their Super (league?) Sub at flanker, who charged down two kicks in quick succession to pin Portland back in their own half. Under constant pressure from Old Blue, the Portland defenses finally gave way to allow a second try and tie the scores at 10-10. With the clock expiring, the possibility of extra time looked very real.

Cometh the hour, cometh the man; Portland soon returned to their aerial assault, raining down misery on the Old Blue wings, and before long the pressure told. Once again Hannes was the man of the hour, scoring his second try, and giving Portland the scent of victory. Shortly afterwards Andy Nelson made the only kick of the day from a penalty, taking the scoreline to 17-10 and effectively putting it out of reach of Old Blue.

So that's how it all ended up, with the rain stopping just as the final whistle blew. Bloody typical. Nevertheless the Portland smiles were all sunshine, having overcome the early scare and grinding out a hard fought win.

Back to the hotel where we attempted to clean of the many layers of mud that had accumulated during the game. After about an hour of that it was off to the after-party at some dingy Syracuse hang out, that had the statutory two dishes of pasta to serve four teams and all their hangers on. WTF? We exchanged a few polite words with the Wolfhounds before their curfew meant they had to leave, and after a few drinks we bade a hasty retreat behind them, back to the steakhouse that we just couldn't get enough of.

Of course, all that steak makes you thirsty, and this clubs swills more Jack & Coke than chics at a hen night. Nuff said. Back to the hotel, and of course Portland has yet to meet the bar that it doesn't like, so it was another couple of rounds before the sensible ones started drifting off to bed. Meanwhile a few others scared up what passes for female companionship in the Dis-Comfort Suites, and a raucous dice game ensued. I'm sure it only ended in tears.

Sunday dawned overcast but at least it wasn't raining. First on the "honey do" list was to find a laundromat and try to clean up our kit before getting it filthy all over again that afternoon. Trust me, nothing starts your day off better than a couple of hours in a Syracuse laundromat. Good times.

The rest of the morning passed without event before the ride out to the swamp pitch, where Syracuse was involved in a spirited encounter with Old Blue. The two sides went toe-to-toe, with the home side squeaking out a 10-8 victory. Now for the all-NERFU main event...

...and that's about where the fairytale ended. It's my sad duty to report that Portland pretty much rolled over and played dead in the final, giving the Wolfhounds an easy pass to South Carolina. Even playing down the slope in the first half Portland failed to mount much in the way of offense, unless of course you count a sin binning. Meanwhile the 'hounds came out fresh and handled the ball well as they scored with depressing regularity. Andy Nelson was able to stroke over a couple of penalties in an attempt to get some Portland mo-jo going, but we never really got out of first gear. Final score 43-6. Ouch!

So the Wolfhounds move on to the National Sweet 16 in Columbia, SC, and lets hope they go on to win it all in San Diego, so at least we can say we were knocked out by the National Champs. Ah well, its probably going to rain anyway.

A quick rub down to get the worst of the mud off then back in the cars for the 7 hour ride home. I'm sure that few tears were shed as Syrcause fell away in the rear view mirrors.

Moose Hunt

To cap off a fine day of rugby this past Saturday, Portland "killer" Bs took on Mount Washington Valley RFC, aka Bull Moose, who have recently been promoted to D3 after knocking off Seacoast Bs in the Fall Classic. The Portland side comprised of many of the B Side stalwarts, along with a sprinkling of a couple of the younger A Side tykes, and a guest appearance at Center of all places from that wily old vet, Tim McMahon.

For most of the first half the two teams were well matched, with a huge Bull Moose pack dominating in the set piece, but their partners in the backfield being well closed down by the Portland defense. As for many fledgling clubs, numbers are an issue, and once a couple of the Bull Moose starting line went down with injuries, there were only so many Stripers they could bring on as replacements. First to go was the Bull Moose fly-half, the deliciously named Sebastian Chocobar, who no doubt was getting a bit runny in the hot sun. Runny...chocobar...hot sun...geddit?!?!?

[Sound effect: crickets chirping]

Anyhoo, as Bull Moose adjusted to their new subs, Timmy Mac was able to capitalize on their confusion by busting out one of his hypnotic runs from a quick tap penalty, and running around, under and through almost the entire Bull Moose pack before touching down under the posts on the stroke of half time. "Slippery" doesn't even come close to describing it.

The second half saw Portland take firmer control over the game, and while Bull Moose occasionally threatened, most plays we soon snuffed out by a committed Portland defense. Not to take anything away from their offensive skills however, as Portland were able to put away two more tries in the second half. One I don't remember much about, by the final score saw Byron Brinkley break out of a ruck to cover almost half the field, only to be brought down just shy of the line. But who was on his shoulder? None other than Ryan, who was there to receive the pass and touch down under the posts. Even with his unorthodox "line drive" kicking style, Matt Winch was able to make the conversion and bring the final score to 17-0 in Portland's favor.

The B's remain undefeated for the season, proving there is a new found depth to Portland's strength. Man of the match was meant to go to Byron for his solo effort, but since he'd left early, we gave it to Ryan for helping close out the move and because we just love to see him throw up. Unfortunately however he didn't seem to want to cooperate on this particular Saturday.

Big thanks to all those who played and kept the streak alive.

Rebels defeated, insurrection quelled

Looking to capitalize on their NERFU D3 success last Fall, Portland dipped their toes in to the regional NRU pool this weekend when they took on Hudson Valley Rebels at home. Just what it is that they're rebelling against remains unclear, but as with many other parts of this country world, the tyranny of British Colonial rule still seems to rankle. People, let's move on, K?

Anyway, that's probably not the point. Saturday dawned grey and drizzly, but that didn't seem to dampen the spirits of the many college sides who were already plying their trade at the Fairgrounds by 8:30 in the morning. Among other things the day proved that the college rugby game is in robust health, with our two public colleges producing some of the most physical rugby witnessed in a long time.

An early shout should go out to Portland Women's team who started the day off right with a win in a 10-aside game against Hudson Valley Women. I'm not sure of the score, but no doubt a write up of their own will soon appear on the site, so stay tuned for the blow-by-blow account.

So, on to the Headliner, which kicked of in cool and damp conditions, yet with a warm throng of supporters on the sidelines. It was soon apparent that the HV side were to play a very similar style of game to Portland, with a strong pack, efficient at keeping the ball to themselves and man-handling it upfield. Thus the game started with an initial testing out period as both sides looked to assert their physical presence on the game.

After about 10 minutes Portland were able to open the scoring which Tom Zabriskie intercepted a midfield pass from the HV backs to run it back the other way and touch down under the posts. Carlos made the conversion, and it was 7-0 Portland. Not long after that Portland followed up with a more deliberate score, taking the scoreline to 12-0, and it looked as though the home side might be able to engage cruise control.

The Rebs had other ideas however, and proved themselves to be no pushover, putting themselves back in the game with a quickly created try. Unfortunately for them their kicker had a bit of a 'mare on the day, and pushed the conversion wide. These were not to be the last extra points that went begging for HV.

One of the recurring themes for the day was that whenever HV was able to score, Portland were able to score one right back, making it difficult for the visitors to create any momentum. Sure enough, after the first Rebel score, Portland were able to march right back down the field and put away another try, wresting back control of the game. Half time came and went, with the scoreline somewhere around 17-12. With weather conditions improving the Portland backs were able to begin the second half with some fine running rugby. Soon enough a fine breakaway effort by Evan Harding was capped off by Fred Hayman to get the scoreboard ticking over again.

Portland did not have it all their own way however, as HV mounted their own counter attacks and proved that their own backs had some skills of their own. At one point the scoreline closed to 21-17, proving the value of those extra points, but as mentioned, Portland were always able to turn the screw a little tighter and maintain control.

A late score from the Rebs just at the stroke of full time made the final score 32-21, closing out a strong, if perhaps less-than-clinical performance for Portland. Known try scorers were Tom and Fred, already mentioned, a brace for Hannes, and one mystery score who no doubt will be in touch with me shortly.

Thanks to the Hudson Valley lads for making the trek up to Maine and for sticking around to enjoy the rest of the day. We wish them the best of luck for the rest of the Spring and their future Fall campaign.

For the efforts, Portland now gets to make the trek up to Syracuse for the D3, NRU Final 4, where they get to take on Syracuse Chargers, and the Superleauge and D1 cast offs from Old Blue and the Wolfhounds. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, eh?

After the break, news of a strong B side performance against Bull Moose...