For those of you looking for directions to Riverside, sorry to disappoint, I only have directions to Riverton, which are right here.
Get thee out to practice tonight as the season hurtles towards its tumultuous climax. Success will not be forged in a single moment but in a thousand tiny details wrought by the hands of the faithful.
Speaking of faithful, it appears that there walks amongst us some who pay lip-service to the ideas of fraternity and brotherhood yet believe that they can play for free, in their free jersey, and then have the temerity to drink our free beer, and eat our free pizza. Does that seem right to you?
It may have escaped your notice, but this club spends money (on you) like a drunken sailor on shore leave, and the only reason we stay out of the poor house is by having everybody chip in. But, that does mean everybody.
Now I’m not the type to publicly humiliate the deadbeats among us. That would take Chris Woodsum nerve. I want to believe that Derrig some good reason why you haven’t all put your Hannes it to your pockets by now. It wasn’t cheap to Boyer all those new jerseys, you know! Fournier’s now I’ve been keeping Tractor of the club’s finances, and there really isn’t much to Dan re-Joyce about. Meeting our financial obligations has become a Zabriskie business. Joe, to all of you miscreants I say, Hay-man, let your Clontz-ience be your guide, Andy you can look forward to enjoying this Jason-day’s game with a clear heart. Pay up.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Sunday, October 09, 2005
The smell of wet dog...
"At least it's not windy!"
As far as "Famous Last Words" go that must rank right up there with "Oh, I think the levee will be just fine" and "I'll buy you a lobster dinner if the White Sox win".
As if the 5+ inches of rain wasn't enough, the gale that blew up shortly before kick-off was enough for even the most devoted rugby player to question his sanity. That is, of course, unless you happen to play for Portland and you're in a top-of-the-table scrap with the unbeaten Irish Wolfhounds. In that case, neither wind nor rain nor flaming meteor storm could prevent you from doing your duty.
As it was, the home side took the field only slightly dryer than their opposition, having taken advantage of the "Pulling Shed" for their warm up and managing not to actually pull anything.
Playing with the wind behind them in the first half, the Irish began hoisting kicks in an effort to keep Portland back on their heels. Fielding these kicks proved troublesome as they either swirled in the wind, or bounced unpredictably in the patches of standing water. Sure enough, one of these kicks stopped dead in our own 22 only to be kicked on and pounced upon by the Irish full back. The conversion was good, and just like that the home side was in a 7-point hole.
Despite this set-back the Portland pack continued to provide a steady supply of clean ball from both the lineout and the scrum, and given the lousy conditions there was no shortage of knock-ons. Within 10 minutes Portland found themselves on the Irish 22 with the ball in Fred Hayman's hands as he turned back the clock and scythed through four or five tackles to crash over the line and score. The ensuing conversion would have been difficult in dry conditions, but on this day it proved too much for Andy Nelson who sent it wide. Nevertheless, Portland were back in the hunt.
It was not long before Portland were back in scoring distance and were presented with a penalty close on the left touchline. Instead of kicking for touch they opted to run, only to see Hannes slowed down by a high tackle that brought him up short of the line. The tackle didn't escape the ref's notice however, and this time Portland were presented with a kicking opportunity right under the posts. Up stepped Andy to slot the ball over and give Portland a slim 8-7 lead.
By a process of deduction and vague recollection I can tell you that Portland soon scored again, and I know that it was Hannes who scored, Andy converted it, and that it was probably off a lineout. What I can't tell you is whether it came before or after the break, and whether or not I had anything to do with it (as if you cared).
Anyhoo, I do remember half time, and how the gale subsided once Portland had a chance to take advantage of it. It may have been my imagination, but the rain also seemed to ease back from "torrential" to "steady". No matter, the Portland lads took an even firmer grip on the game in the second half, putting it effectively out of reach for the visitors with two more scores.
The first went to Jerry Alves who snuck in around the corner of a maul by using me as a decoy. Who wouldn't have expected the little scrum half to give it up to the lumbering forward outside him? It worked like a charm as most of the defenders moved far enough to the outside to create a gap just big enough for Jerry to wriggle through. Of course, having played with Jerry for more than ten years, I knew he was never going to pass to me, but I gave it my best "I want it" face anyway.
The second score went inevitably to Hannes as the back-row linked up off the back of a five meter scrum. Andy Nelson iced it as he made the conversion from an improbable angle, and that about covers all the action. A few late arrivals for the Irish came on to breath some new life in to their game, but it was too little to late. Scotty and Dean used the wind to their advantage to make sure that any subsequent visits to the Portland half were brief ones. Final score, 27-7, with Man-of-the-Match honors going to Jerry Alves.
The B game was....what, are you kidding me? Nobody wanted another game in that muck, but big props to all those Portland faithful who kitted up just in case or who came out to watch.
Portland's next game will be at home to Seacoast on Sunday (the 16th). Weather permitting we'll be back at Fox Street, so please come out and give us a cheer as we take on another top-of-the-table team.
As far as "Famous Last Words" go that must rank right up there with "Oh, I think the levee will be just fine" and "I'll buy you a lobster dinner if the White Sox win".
As if the 5+ inches of rain wasn't enough, the gale that blew up shortly before kick-off was enough for even the most devoted rugby player to question his sanity. That is, of course, unless you happen to play for Portland and you're in a top-of-the-table scrap with the unbeaten Irish Wolfhounds. In that case, neither wind nor rain nor flaming meteor storm could prevent you from doing your duty.
As it was, the home side took the field only slightly dryer than their opposition, having taken advantage of the "Pulling Shed" for their warm up and managing not to actually pull anything.
Playing with the wind behind them in the first half, the Irish began hoisting kicks in an effort to keep Portland back on their heels. Fielding these kicks proved troublesome as they either swirled in the wind, or bounced unpredictably in the patches of standing water. Sure enough, one of these kicks stopped dead in our own 22 only to be kicked on and pounced upon by the Irish full back. The conversion was good, and just like that the home side was in a 7-point hole.
Despite this set-back the Portland pack continued to provide a steady supply of clean ball from both the lineout and the scrum, and given the lousy conditions there was no shortage of knock-ons. Within 10 minutes Portland found themselves on the Irish 22 with the ball in Fred Hayman's hands as he turned back the clock and scythed through four or five tackles to crash over the line and score. The ensuing conversion would have been difficult in dry conditions, but on this day it proved too much for Andy Nelson who sent it wide. Nevertheless, Portland were back in the hunt.
It was not long before Portland were back in scoring distance and were presented with a penalty close on the left touchline. Instead of kicking for touch they opted to run, only to see Hannes slowed down by a high tackle that brought him up short of the line. The tackle didn't escape the ref's notice however, and this time Portland were presented with a kicking opportunity right under the posts. Up stepped Andy to slot the ball over and give Portland a slim 8-7 lead.
By a process of deduction and vague recollection I can tell you that Portland soon scored again, and I know that it was Hannes who scored, Andy converted it, and that it was probably off a lineout. What I can't tell you is whether it came before or after the break, and whether or not I had anything to do with it (as if you cared).
Anyhoo, I do remember half time, and how the gale subsided once Portland had a chance to take advantage of it. It may have been my imagination, but the rain also seemed to ease back from "torrential" to "steady". No matter, the Portland lads took an even firmer grip on the game in the second half, putting it effectively out of reach for the visitors with two more scores.
The first went to Jerry Alves who snuck in around the corner of a maul by using me as a decoy. Who wouldn't have expected the little scrum half to give it up to the lumbering forward outside him? It worked like a charm as most of the defenders moved far enough to the outside to create a gap just big enough for Jerry to wriggle through. Of course, having played with Jerry for more than ten years, I knew he was never going to pass to me, but I gave it my best "I want it" face anyway.
The second score went inevitably to Hannes as the back-row linked up off the back of a five meter scrum. Andy Nelson iced it as he made the conversion from an improbable angle, and that about covers all the action. A few late arrivals for the Irish came on to breath some new life in to their game, but it was too little to late. Scotty and Dean used the wind to their advantage to make sure that any subsequent visits to the Portland half were brief ones. Final score, 27-7, with Man-of-the-Match honors going to Jerry Alves.
The B game was....what, are you kidding me? Nobody wanted another game in that muck, but big props to all those Portland faithful who kitted up just in case or who came out to watch.
Portland's next game will be at home to Seacoast on Sunday (the 16th). Weather permitting we'll be back at Fox Street, so please come out and give us a cheer as we take on another top-of-the-table team.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Fountain of Youth
Does it take a good 30 minutes before you can move around normally in the morning?
Is rock music crap these days?
Do hot high school girls call you "Sir" or "Mister"?
Do you care about what beer you're drinking?
Do you have children of your own (that live with you, and actually call you "Dad")?
Has it turned out that your wife or significant other doesn't actually like rugby?
If you answered "Yes" to two or more of these questions, then this means your are probably an "Old Boy". As such, this probably also means that when you're not stressing about work and the mortgage, your only source of joy (other than hot high school girls) is reminiscing about all those great games of rugby you once played.
Once you were an athlete. A marauding, take-no-prisoners alpha male....and inside you know that you still are.
Well, I have some good news for you. Here at the PRFC laboratories we have developed a time machine capable of transporting you back to those halcyon days when you could play two games, drink all night and still get up by Sunday lunchtime to go out drinking again. Code named "bus trip", this top secret project has breathed new life in to many former players who had previously been devoid of any life signs. Created with copious amounts of alcohol, a house band and even the odd high school girl, this device is guaranteed to transform you in to that beer swilling party animal that you once were - at least for a few shining moments. Of course, once you step outside the aura of the "bus trip", gravity and time take hold again, and the girls go back to calling you "sir".
"Where can I get me some of this 'bus trip'?" I can hear you all yelling. Well hold on there old timer, watch your blood pressure. It just so happens that a fresh shipment of "bus trip" is scheduled to arrive on October 22nd to coincide with an Old Boys game to be played under the lights in Amesbury, MA. In order to accomodate your busy weekend "honey do" list, the "bus trip" will not be administered until 1:30pm, with KO scheduled for approx. 6:30pm, after the A Game.
If you would like to get a prescription for a dose of "bus trip", please e-mail Mike DeSalle or Leo Caouette and let them know about your particular symptoms.
If by chance you are the partner of an "Old Boy" who has stumbled across this post, I want you to look deep in to my eyes and concentrate on the sound of my voice. When I count to three you are going to have no recollection of "bus trip", high school girls or alcohol. In fact, you've been wanting your man to have "a little guy time" lately, and feel he should get out by himself more. While he's gone you're going to go to Victoria's Secret and spend a lot of (your own) money. Three, two, one....you're under.....
Is rock music crap these days?
Do hot high school girls call you "Sir" or "Mister"?
Do you care about what beer you're drinking?
Do you have children of your own (that live with you, and actually call you "Dad")?
Has it turned out that your wife or significant other doesn't actually like rugby?
If you answered "Yes" to two or more of these questions, then this means your are probably an "Old Boy". As such, this probably also means that when you're not stressing about work and the mortgage, your only source of joy (other than hot high school girls) is reminiscing about all those great games of rugby you once played.
Once you were an athlete. A marauding, take-no-prisoners alpha male....and inside you know that you still are.
Well, I have some good news for you. Here at the PRFC laboratories we have developed a time machine capable of transporting you back to those halcyon days when you could play two games, drink all night and still get up by Sunday lunchtime to go out drinking again. Code named "bus trip", this top secret project has breathed new life in to many former players who had previously been devoid of any life signs. Created with copious amounts of alcohol, a house band and even the odd high school girl, this device is guaranteed to transform you in to that beer swilling party animal that you once were - at least for a few shining moments. Of course, once you step outside the aura of the "bus trip", gravity and time take hold again, and the girls go back to calling you "sir".
"Where can I get me some of this 'bus trip'?" I can hear you all yelling. Well hold on there old timer, watch your blood pressure. It just so happens that a fresh shipment of "bus trip" is scheduled to arrive on October 22nd to coincide with an Old Boys game to be played under the lights in Amesbury, MA. In order to accomodate your busy weekend "honey do" list, the "bus trip" will not be administered until 1:30pm, with KO scheduled for approx. 6:30pm, after the A Game.
If you would like to get a prescription for a dose of "bus trip", please e-mail Mike DeSalle or Leo Caouette and let them know about your particular symptoms.
If by chance you are the partner of an "Old Boy" who has stumbled across this post, I want you to look deep in to my eyes and concentrate on the sound of my voice. When I count to three you are going to have no recollection of "bus trip", high school girls or alcohol. In fact, you've been wanting your man to have "a little guy time" lately, and feel he should get out by himself more. While he's gone you're going to go to Victoria's Secret and spend a lot of (your own) money. Three, two, one....you're under.....
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Directions to Women's Match
Jes asked me to post these directions to Moakley Park in Boston, and she told me that kick off is at 2pm. I'm guessing that that's on Saturday, but I can't guess who the match is against, since there's a lot of teams who use that field. Anyway, if you want to know, I'm sure Jes will tell you. Good luck to everyone who's playing.
From the West:
Take the Mass Pike East To 93 South
Take 93 South to Exit 15 (COLUMBIA ROAD)
Take left at the end of the ramp onto COLUMBIA RD
toward J.F.K. LIBRARY.
Enter roundabout(Rotary) and take 2nd exit onto
WILLIAM J DAY BLVD.
Field is up on your left, park in the beach parking
lots on your right.
From the South:
Take 93 North to Exit 15 (Columbia Rd.).
Take a right at the end of the ramp onto COLUMBIA RD
toward J.F.K. LIBRARY.
Enter roundabout(Rotary) and take 2nd exit onto
WILLIAM J DAY BLVD.
Field is up on your left, park in the beach parking
lots on your right.
From the North:
Take 93 South through the city to Exit 15 (Columbia
Rd.).
Take a left at the end of the ramp onto COLUMBIA RD
toward J.F.K. LIBRARY.
Enter roundabout(Rotary) and take 2nd exit onto
WILLIAM J DAY BLVD.
Field is up on your left, park in the beach parking
lots on your right.
Here's a map.
From the West:
Take the Mass Pike East To 93 South
Take 93 South to Exit 15 (COLUMBIA ROAD)
Take left at the end of the ramp onto COLUMBIA RD
toward J.F.K. LIBRARY.
Enter roundabout(Rotary) and take 2nd exit onto
WILLIAM J DAY BLVD.
Field is up on your left, park in the beach parking
lots on your right.
From the South:
Take 93 North to Exit 15 (Columbia Rd.).
Take a right at the end of the ramp onto COLUMBIA RD
toward J.F.K. LIBRARY.
Enter roundabout(Rotary) and take 2nd exit onto
WILLIAM J DAY BLVD.
Field is up on your left, park in the beach parking
lots on your right.
From the North:
Take 93 South through the city to Exit 15 (Columbia
Rd.).
Take a left at the end of the ramp onto COLUMBIA RD
toward J.F.K. LIBRARY.
Enter roundabout(Rotary) and take 2nd exit onto
WILLIAM J DAY BLVD.
Field is up on your left, park in the beach parking
lots on your right.
Here's a map.
Monday, September 26, 2005
"Go back to D2"
…so spoke the Rutland captain at the drink up after last Saturday’s resounding victory. Well, yes, we fully intend to, and after this performance Portland has every reason to feel optimistic about their chances of doing so. There is of course the small matter of winning the rest of our games, then the playoffs etc. and then receiving the blessings of the NERFU politburo… But, as they say at FEMA, “baby steps”.
Portland were always going to be the better looking side in their new kit, but in rugby the clothes do not maketh the man, so it was going to take a bit more than shiny shirts to see off the Rutland side.
The early going was not particularly pretty with several Portland players growing wide-eyed at the site of the try line, only to be cut down short, leaving exasperated players open outside them. Soon however the home team settled in to doing what it does best – driving mauls and pushover tries. The first score came inevitably from a 5-meter lineout, with Hannes scoring the first of his four tries of the day. Given that most of these type of scores come pretty close to the touch line, Andy Nelson had his work cut out for him on the conversions all day. Despite many good efforts he finished with just 4 out of 10 attempts, plus one penalty.
The exact sequence of the tries has already been lost to history, for despite all of those people on the touchline, still nobody bothers to write anything down. Anyway, what I do remember from the first half is a breakaway try for Matt Winch, vindicating the banana defense, another score for Hannes from a set penalty (more props to coach) and probably at least one more pushover try.
The second half continued in much the same vein, although as the score increased, many of the Portland players eschewed hard work in favor of glory, standing off from rucks and watching loose ball bobble around rather than getting their hands dirty cleaning it up. In the end this belief that “someone else will take care of it” took its toll as Rutland scored after several botched attempts to clear our own lines.
Nevertheless, that was the only time that Rutland troubled the score keepers (that’s obviously a metaphor, since I already pointed out that there were no bloody score keepers), with the game finishing at 61-7 in Portland’s favor. The home side scored ten tries in all, with four to Hannes, one to Matt and one to Scott Derrig, who this time capped another solo effort with a more modest one handed touch down. I managed to trundle over for another score (no, I’m not still bitter about that comment), so that still leaves another four tries unaccounted for. If I’ve left you out, please be sure to let me know so I can post a retraction, hire a skywriter or something like that.
A side man-of-the-match honors went to Scott Derrig, who definitely punched above his weight downing his drinks. Other notable performances from my perspective include Fred Hayman for breaking so many tackles in his new shirt, Jeff Keating for his first half hustle (I’ve still got his cleat marks on my back to prove it) and of course to all forwards everywhere, because you’re my boys.
The B game proved to be brief but eventful as it broke out into a (good natured?) feud between Tractor and Francis. I believe that Tractor may have edged that one after scoring his own breakaway try and capping it with some try-zone shenanigans that would have made Terrell Owens blush (wot, no Sharpie?). Last I heard, Francis had decided to bypass the drink up to work on his appeal to NERFU.
Portland have a bye on 10/1 and then host Wolfhounds-C on 10/8. See you all there.
Portland were always going to be the better looking side in their new kit, but in rugby the clothes do not maketh the man, so it was going to take a bit more than shiny shirts to see off the Rutland side.
The early going was not particularly pretty with several Portland players growing wide-eyed at the site of the try line, only to be cut down short, leaving exasperated players open outside them. Soon however the home team settled in to doing what it does best – driving mauls and pushover tries. The first score came inevitably from a 5-meter lineout, with Hannes scoring the first of his four tries of the day. Given that most of these type of scores come pretty close to the touch line, Andy Nelson had his work cut out for him on the conversions all day. Despite many good efforts he finished with just 4 out of 10 attempts, plus one penalty.
The exact sequence of the tries has already been lost to history, for despite all of those people on the touchline, still nobody bothers to write anything down. Anyway, what I do remember from the first half is a breakaway try for Matt Winch, vindicating the banana defense, another score for Hannes from a set penalty (more props to coach) and probably at least one more pushover try.
The second half continued in much the same vein, although as the score increased, many of the Portland players eschewed hard work in favor of glory, standing off from rucks and watching loose ball bobble around rather than getting their hands dirty cleaning it up. In the end this belief that “someone else will take care of it” took its toll as Rutland scored after several botched attempts to clear our own lines.
Nevertheless, that was the only time that Rutland troubled the score keepers (that’s obviously a metaphor, since I already pointed out that there were no bloody score keepers), with the game finishing at 61-7 in Portland’s favor. The home side scored ten tries in all, with four to Hannes, one to Matt and one to Scott Derrig, who this time capped another solo effort with a more modest one handed touch down. I managed to trundle over for another score (no, I’m not still bitter about that comment), so that still leaves another four tries unaccounted for. If I’ve left you out, please be sure to let me know so I can post a retraction, hire a skywriter or something like that.
A side man-of-the-match honors went to Scott Derrig, who definitely punched above his weight downing his drinks. Other notable performances from my perspective include Fred Hayman for breaking so many tackles in his new shirt, Jeff Keating for his first half hustle (I’ve still got his cleat marks on my back to prove it) and of course to all forwards everywhere, because you’re my boys.
The B game proved to be brief but eventful as it broke out into a (good natured?) feud between Tractor and Francis. I believe that Tractor may have edged that one after scoring his own breakaway try and capping it with some try-zone shenanigans that would have made Terrell Owens blush (wot, no Sharpie?). Last I heard, Francis had decided to bypass the drink up to work on his appeal to NERFU.
Portland have a bye on 10/1 and then host Wolfhounds-C on 10/8. See you all there.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Pay for your new jersey
For those of you who gave me an order for a new jersey yesterday, hopefully you have some recollection of the event, since they are now on order, and will be winging their way towards us in 3 to 4 weeks.
That means you have between now and then to pay up so that the club isn't left hanging. Why not get it out of the way now by clicking on the button below? That'll save us the trouble of turning you over to our collections department.
If you didn't get a chance to give me an order yesterday, drop me a line with your desired size and the number you'd like on the back and I'll start a new order. Assuming that your willing to part with $40 of course.
That means you have between now and then to pay up so that the club isn't left hanging. Why not get it out of the way now by clicking on the button below? That'll save us the trouble of turning you over to our collections department.
If you didn't get a chance to give me an order yesterday, drop me a line with your desired size and the number you'd like on the back and I'll start a new order. Assuming that your willing to part with $40 of course.
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