On a field more suited to water polo than rugby, Old Gold got the better of Portland this weekend, as both sides sought to come away with bragging rights in this ongoing DII rivalry.

Old Gold, fielding a new look pack, that seemed to have spent a good deal of time at the buffet table over the summer, looked to assert their physical presence early. Using the slope of the field to their advantage, the home team employed a strategy of crash ball that was always going to be hard to defend. While the conditions made it very difficult for either side to maintain possession for very long, ultimately Old Gold were able to break through the Portland defenses and register the first points. Place kicking was not going to be anyone’s strong point on the day, and the score line stood at 5-0 in favor of the “units”.

While Portland began to muster some offense of their own, the lack of predictable possession from the set piece, combined with the early departure of their fly-half, Joey D’Andria, meant it was difficult for them to muster much of a cohesive effort. As a result, Old Gold were soon banging the ball down the slope again, and the laws of physics prevailed, giving them their second score of the half. Unconverted again, the score stood at 10-0 “units”.

Late in the first half though, Portland found themselves at the “dry” end of the pitch and were able to secure clean ball from a line out, which they then drove menacingly towards the Old Gold line. Sensing trouble, the Old Gold forwards did what they know best, and set out to pull the maul down. Although they were unsuccessful, they were able to bring the maul to standstill, resulting in a scrum in their favor. Fortunately the ball managed to squirt out the of the back under pressure from Jerry Alves, and the vigilant Jeff Keating was able to jump on the ball in the try zone. Score one for the good guys. Jason Willey was able to defy the odds and make the conversion, leaving the half-time score at 10-7.

The second half began with Portland applying some gravitational pressure of their own, although they were unable to wade through and cross the Old Gold line. Eventually a kickable penalty opportunity presented itself, but Jason’s attempt to punch a four iron out of the water hazard drifted right, and did not trouble the scorers.

Although it seems as though Portland had much of the second half possession, they were able to do little with it, handling the ball sideways, and making little forward momentum. In the end Old Gold were able to put the game realistically out of reach with their final score, which is sketchy in my memory, but certainly left the final score at 15-7.

No excuses about the final result. Despite a one sided encounter at Attitash in the Spring, Portland have choked against Old Gold in the league for two years running. Time to get a little self belief, and git ‘er done.

In lieu of practice tonight there will be a team meeting at Gritty’s tonight, in the basement at 6pm. All should attend, or at least let J-Wil know why you can’t make it.

Meet at the park and ride tomorrow @ 9 am, ready for the game at Old Gold. If you have any questions/problems or would just like to chat, you can call Jason Willey on 207 751 8029. He thinks he's getting lucky tonight, so call and interrupt anyway.

If you are going directly to the ground, directions are here, but call and let us know you're on the way.

Gents, I have a couple of things to update you on.

Firstly, it seems that Old Gold are getting in the trash talk (of sorts) early, in this post which still highlights their dislike for spiders. I guess that one win back in 1987 makes up for all the ass-whoopings since then.

Ever since NERFU "improved" their web site it is now impossible to find out the scores from other matches in our division, other than to troll around the other club websites. Well, unfortunately it seems as if many of the other clubs have not been blessed with a johhny-on-the-spot secretary like me, so nobody bloody updates their scores. One exception though is the aforementioned Old Gold, who still manage to find good things is their 42 point shut-out by Newport, bless them. Nedless to say they will be eager to score some points this coming weekend, and we will need to be on our mettle to prevent that. So make sure you are at practice this Thursday, 6pm, Fox Street.

Another good reason to make it to practice is that we have been approached by an aspiring journalist from the Salt Institute for Documentary Studies who wants to write a piece about the club and its players. This will involve him showing up at practice and games and getting to know us all, and writing down his obesrvations, hopefully for publication in their annual magazine. I encourage all of you to welcome him into the club for the season, and to be as candid with him as possible. And for the record, if you think you might have concealed your own neuroses/mental disorder/addictions to this point, and are afraid of having them exposed, you're only fooling youself, and we call that "denial".

Lastly, for those of you looking for employment, LL Bean is experiencing a seasonal shortfall of employees, and have a lot of positions to fill. If you are looking for some short term (3-4 months) work, with a great discount, make sure you attend their Job Fair this coming Monday, from 3 to 7pm. It is being held in the Stonewood Building, which is on Route 1, south of Freeport, on the right, heading north, not far past the Big Indian. Best of all, if you mention my name, and can hold down a job there for 45 days, I get a $25 Gift Certificate. Isn't that cool? But don't let that be your only motivation for applying. It really is a good place to work, and could lead to something permanent if you're interested.

Portland put up a scrappy and determined performance against Hartford Wanderers this past weekend, but in the end they were outmanned and outgunned by a well disciplined visiting team.

Last time I checked, the HOV lane out of Hartford only runs a couple of miles, so gas prices in Connecticut must be a lot cheaper than Maine given that Hartford decided to bring along about 45 players, plus assorted hangers-on. Portland meanwhile displayed a much more minimalist approach, with the usual dribble of players arriving up to five minutes before game time. As with baseball, the differences between big-market and small-market ball can sometimes be painfully apparent, but just like the Twins, the Portland team were able to do a lot with a little.

The first half was largely dominated by Hartford, as Portland worked to develop some cohesion between their team, and some belief that they could take the game to Hartford. In the mean time however the visitors were able to score a couple of tries and a penalty, leaving the half-time score at something like 13-0. After the break, Portland camped in the Hartford Red Zone, although they were unable to pile on any points early. The visitors did eventually yield, giving up a couple of scores, although Portland lacked the means to convert either of them.

Despite the apparent comeback, Hartford were not idle, running in 3 or 4 fast break tries of their own, displaying some impressive discipline, and putting the final result beyond and doubt. What the final score was exactly, I'm not sure, but I would guess it was something like 35-10.

The B game offered much of the same, with a completely different bunch of Wanderers, all with the same haircut as the first lot. Given the long drive, and all the time sitting around, their B side was annoyingly gung-ho, and did not let up on the now tired Portland players. As a result, Portland tried to pull some of the oldest tricks in the book, much to the consternation of the ref. Despite all their guile however, they could not supress the Hartford side, who came up eventual winners, 17-10.

Practice continues this week at the new time of 6pm, in advance of this weekends away trip to our old pals, Old Gold. Last time I checked their website, they were still running the following ad: "Old Gold Rugby is currently looking for a new coach to help direct this team to D2 champs." Holy shit, if there are any coaches out there that can do that, then their talents might be better served creating world peace or finding a cure for cancer. But be warned, the last bloke that pulled off a miracle on a par with getting Old Gold to the D2 finals was crucified. Amen.

No "Acts of God" are going to come between us and our practice, so while the dregs of Hurricane Francis hit us tomorrow, you'll be snug indoors at Jokers for practice. 6:30pm to 8:30pm, make sure you're there, so you can represent this weekend against Hartford. Take that, Jebus.

For those of you who weren't there last weekend, Amoeskeag roughed us up like a bunch of Russian hostage negotiators. As usual for this game it was about 90 degrees, and the scoreline was less than favorable. I don't know what it was exactly, but it was a pretty one-sided affair. Nevertheless, we saw some encouraging performances by our newer players, and didn't pick up too many injuries amongst the older ones.

In advance of our first league game this coming weekend, practice will be moving to 6pm, at the usual Fox Street location. For some of you that means you'll have to phone in your lame-ass excuses half an hour earlier. For the rest of us, let's be there and ready to go promptly.